Registered User
No, she's not my sister . . .
. . . She's my DAUGHTER, and I have no idea why all of a sudden, I need to keep telling people this.
The first time this happened, my mum was looking after Aurelia while we were shopping so it was slightly more understandable, not to mention the fact that the guy wasn't a complete w@nker about it. But this keeps happening now. The other day, DD was checking out a young family - a baby in a pram and two pre-teen boys (around 8 - 10 I guess). One of them asks me, "Is that your sister?" "Oh, no that's my daughter" and he goes, "OH . . . okay . . . " and gave me the BIGGEST look, wtf?!
I'm 19 years old, I'm an adult ffs, and even if I wasn't I don't see how it's anyone elses business.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Tell 'em you found her at the supermarket..........or this ENORMOUS stork brought her....
No it didn't really happen to me, but I'm not saying people didn't look twice and funnily enough I thought I'd have a bunch of nannas tsk tsking me at the shops, but the nannas were the kindest of all and didn't bat an eyelid over my (obvious) age.
BellyBelly Member
I had my first at 19, and 13 months later had number 2!!! I look at the photos now and I look 16!!!
So yeah, I got the "LOOK" all the time....
And its always assumed your some young feral, just popping out kids... But I was married to a good man who worked his butt off!!!
I'm sorry your copping the sister comments hon. I got the "are you babysitting?" ones....
I learnt to just hold my head up....
Your doing a great job, so let them look!!!!
Registered User
*sigh*
People SUCK!! I was shopping with my grandmother and someone had the audacity to ask if DS was hers. Are you kidding? It's not that big a deal that you need to fool yourself into believing that it could my GRANDMOTHER's child instead of my own.
Lulu I wish the Nanna's in my town were like the Nanna's in yours (back in thhe day
2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
I hear you, I'm 22 (so sstill pretty young) but look a bit younger, and I get THE LOOK. When we are out with SIL people ask HER all the questions (and much to my annoyance she starts to answer like shes the mum... but thats a WHOLE other thread...!).
Wish people would grow up, even if we were 13 it would be none of their business. Who can tell who is a good parent by judging their age (and TBH, I don't think a good parent should models judgemental behaviour, so there we go... *thumbs down* to them if they are parents).
I also hate how it changes when they realise Jazz was planned. Like that should matter... loads of people who are in their late 20s and 30s have an 'oops' all the time... and THEY don't get the look (unless of course they have 3+ kids, and then they are judged also, which isn't right
ETA: Jodie... yes I get 'are you babysitting', I've also gotten 'its so nice that you care for her like shes yours...' once when Shel and I were out shopping... They must have heard me refer to Shel as 'mummy' and then ASSUMED... hope they saw me stick her on my boob
Last edited by Indadhanu; October 28th, 2008 at 08:31 AM.
Grrr I get it all the time. I'm 18 so clearly I could NEVER be a mumI just ignore people mostly but I hate it when people say 'Don't you miss having a life??'
Just cz my priorities changed doesn't mean I do nothing that I want to.
Bugger the critics yay for young mums
Registered User
I don't think it matters how old you are.... I am 24 and I get the LOOK all the time.
I went into a preg group the other day and because DF is 29 but looks older I could hear people whispering about cradle snatching etc......
It doesn't help that he's 6'4 and I'm 5 foot....LOL
I just give them a scathing look back and laugh ..... it's all you can do!
I understand where your coming from, when I was 18 and pregnant with my daughter, I was covered under my parents health insurance and had her in the private system ... and went to labour classes and most couples there were about 30-35 maybe a few who might be 28 perhaps and they all had their husbands with them ,, and I was going along with my mum or sometimes alone and boy .. I have never felt so ashamed / demoralised in my entired life. BUT ...
I am now 32 my daughter has just turned 12 and we are sooo close its unbelieveable, our relationship is so worth every look, huff, comment .. she tells all her friends i had her at 19 and is so so proud all her friends love comming to my house because 'she has an awesome mum' and it feels really great to have that special bond (not saying you cant have that bond if your not a young mum ... either)
not to mention i have just has #2 and she is the biggest help !! love it!
Registered User
I was 17 and pregnant and got the looks. Thankfully never any comments unless they were good ones which was nice to hear for once. But it makes you feel like your an outcast. It wasnt all that long ago that at the age of 22 you had finished having your family!
Registered User
I have said to people before that you can never judge a book by it's cover when they have told me I am too young for kids. I have asked them how old they thought I was and been told a few years younger and then turned around and said something along the lines of 'I was married when I conceived my oldest and Sure the baby bonus does help, it improves their quality of life by helping us to get rid of some debts, but that is not why we have children.'
My Mum had my older sister when she was 17 ... and years later when my Mum was in her mid 30's to early 40's she got it more than ever ... if they were sisters ... My Mum said at these ages she loved it as it made her feel so young again
... So, i guess that's one of the bonus's of being a younger Mum ... Something for you to look forward to
Imagine me i will be 46 when my 1st & only child starts school ... OMG, i feel so darn old just thinking about it, ... LOL i hope no one thinks i'm her Grandmother by then
Registered User
Smiles it's "funny" because my sisters and my son will start school the same year and my mother will be 44
Registered User
I'm SO gonna do that next time!!
I've had nice comments too actually. Old ladies have been very nice, I've found, perhaps because back in the day, more women had children young? A lot of women at the hospital I gave birth in said "That's how old I was when I had my first!" On the flip side, when I was having the threatened m/c and the Dr used the internal ultrasound, I asked if that was a condom she was putting over it and she goes "I'm surprised you even know what a condom is, being pregnant at 17". Stupid *****. I love the way KING EDWARD MEMORIAL HOSPITAL (in case anyone is thinking of birthing there - don't) didn't pass my complaint onto the appropriate people
What. The. Francis? I would have taken my legs out of the stirrups and kicked her in the teeth!"I'm surprised you even know what a condom is, being pregnant at 17".
I am young-looking rather than young (was 25 when i had DD), and i sometimes get the looks, but i get to yell "I'm TWENTY-EIGHT" at people when they take it too far and say anything.
I can remember once as a kid i was out on a bus with my sisters friends' baby in a baby carrier on my tummy. She was about 3 months old and lovely and cuddly and i'd BEGGED to be allowed to carry her. An old woman sat in the seat beside me and said "Oh did you bring your dolly out today" to me, and as she spoke bubs turned her head to look at her. Old woman nearly had a heart attack. I was 12!
Bx
2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
LOL yes, same AJ my mum will be 45 lol (on a side note shes quite unimpressed that shes a 40yo grandmotherSmiles it's "funny" because my sisters and my son will start school the same year and my mother will be 44
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
You have to remember this will always be! Its not just when they are babies, I get comments - "you look waaay to young to have a 16 yo" and I just grin and say yeah, I am!
Registered User
Hi girls,
Hope you don't mind me joining in..
I had my first daughter just after my 19th birthday. To make it worse in the eyes of society, i was a single mum as well. Little did any of those ****ers that judged me know i was far better off as a 'sole parent' than staying in the crappy relationship i was in.
I've had people assume that Brianna was my sister when i would go shopping with my dad (whom i lived with at the time and who cut the cord at her birth)..
Whats messed up is now im happily married with 3 children and people think my dad is my husband lol gee did we get dirty looks out shopping when i was heavily pregnant with my son
Registered User
ROFL! Hilarious!
Young mums: OH GOOD ON THEM! As a 39 yo mum I can safely say I wish i had mine younger... i've been chasing my toddler around all day... literally running from the backyard to the front constantly searching for him... *pant pant* I shoulda... done... all... this... when I... was younger!
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