No, she's not my sister . . .

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

. . . She's my DAUGHTER, and I have no idea why all of a sudden, I need to keep telling people this.

The first time this happened, my mum was looking after Aurelia while we were shopping so it was slightly more understandable, not to mention the fact that the guy wasn't a complete w@nker about it. But this keeps happening now. The other day, DD was checking out a young family - a baby in a pram and two pre-teen boys (around 8 - 10 I guess). One of them asks me, "Is that your sister?" "Oh, no that's my daughter" and he goes, "OH . . . okay . . . " and gave me the BIGGEST look, wtf?!

I'm 19 years old, I'm an adult ffs, and even if I wasn't I don't see how it's anyone elses business.



Has anyone else experienced this?

[Lulu]

Tell 'em you found her at the supermarket..........or this ENORMOUS stork brought her....
No it didn't really happen to me, but I'm not saying people didn't look twice and funnily enough I thought I'd have a bunch of nannas tsk tsking me at the shops, but the nannas were the kindest of all and didn't bat an eyelid over my (obvious) age.

[Pretty Butterfly]

I had my first at 19, and 13 months later had number 2!!! I look at the photos now and I look 16!!!

So yeah, I got the "LOOK" all the time....

And its always assumed your some young feral, just popping out kids... But I was married to a good man who worked his butt off!!!

I'm sorry your copping the sister comments hon. I got the "are you babysitting?" ones....

I learnt to just hold my head up....

Your doing a great job, so let them look!!!!

[Indadhanu]

I hear you, I'm 22 (so sstill pretty young) but look a bit younger, and I get THE LOOK. When we are out with SIL people ask HER all the questions (and much to my annoyance she starts to answer like shes the mum... but thats a WHOLE other thread...!).

Wish people would grow up, even if we were 13 it would be none of their business. Who can tell who is a good parent by judging their age (and TBH, I don't think a good parent should models judgemental behaviour, so there we go... *thumbs down* to them if they are parents).

I also hate how it changes when they realise Jazz was planned. Like that should matter... loads of people who are in their late 20s and 30s have an 'oops' all the time... and THEY don't get the look (unless of course they have 3+ kids, and then they are judged also, which isn't right ).

ETA: Jodie... yes I get 'are you babysitting', I've also gotten 'its so nice that you care for her like shes yours...' once when Shel and I were out shopping... They must have heard me refer to Shel as 'mummy' and then ASSUMED... hope they saw me stick her on my boob

[rhyb]

Grrr I get it all the time. I'm 18 so clearly I could NEVER be a mum I just ignore people mostly but I hate it when people say 'Don't you miss having a life??'
Just cz my priorities changed doesn't mean I do nothing that I want to.
Bugger the critics yay for young mums

[LaDeeDa]

I don't think it matters how old you are.... I am 24 and I get the LOOK all the time.
I went into a preg group the other day and because DF is 29 but looks older I could hear people whispering about cradle snatching etc......
It doesn't help that he's 6'4 and I'm 5 foot....LOL
I just give them a scathing look back and laugh ..... it's all you can do!

[Visitor8]

Next time just roll your eyes and say "oh but I NEEDED a plasma" and walk off...

[The[cookie]Doctor]

*sigh*

People SUCK!! I was shopping with my grandmother and someone had the audacity to ask if DS was hers. Are you kidding? It's not that big a deal that you need to fool yourself into believing that it could my GRANDMOTHER's child instead of my own.

Lulu I wish the Nanna's in my town were like the Nanna's in yours (back in thhe day ).

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

Tell 'em you found her at the supermarket..........or this ENORMOUS stork brought her....

I'm SO gonna do that next time!!

I've had nice comments too actually. Old ladies have been very nice, I've found, perhaps because back in the day, more women had children young? A lot of women at the hospital I gave birth in said "That's how old I was when I had my first!" On the flip side, when I was having the threatened m/c and the Dr used the internal ultrasound, I asked if that was a condom she was putting over it and she goes "I'm surprised you even know what a condom is, being pregnant at 17". Stupid *****. I love the way KING EDWARD MEMORIAL HOSPITAL (in case anyone is thinking of birthing there - don't) didn't pass my complaint onto the appropriate people

[paradise lost]

"I'm surprised you even know what a condom is, being pregnant at 17".

What. The. Francis? I would have taken my legs out of the stirrups and kicked her in the teeth!

I am young-looking rather than young (was 25 when i had DD), and i sometimes get the looks, but i get to yell "I'm TWENTY-EIGHT" at people when they take it too far and say anything.

I can remember once as a kid i was out on a bus with my sisters friends' baby in a baby carrier on my tummy. She was about 3 months old and lovely and cuddly and i'd BEGGED to be allowed to carry her. An old woman sat in the seat beside me and said "Oh did you bring your dolly out today" to me, and as she spoke bubs turned her head to look at her. Old woman nearly had a heart attack. I was 12!

Bx

[Indadhanu]

Smiles it's "funny" because my sisters and my son will start school the same year and my mother will be 44

LOL yes, same AJ my mum will be 45 lol (on a side note shes quite unimpressed that shes a 40yo grandmother ).

[Lulu]

You have to remember this will always be! Its not just when they are babies, I get comments - "you look waaay to young to have a 16 yo" and I just grin and say yeah, I am!

[Bathsheba]

I can remember once as a kid i was out on a bus with my sisters friends' baby in a baby carrier on my tummy. She was about 3 months old and lovely and cuddly and i'd BEGGED to be allowed to carry her. An old woman sat in the seat beside me and said "Oh did you bring your dolly out today" to me, and as she spoke bubs turned her head to look at her. Old woman nearly had a heart attack. I was 12!

Bx

ROFL! Hilarious!

Young mums: OH GOOD ON THEM! As a 39 yo mum I can safely say I wish i had mine younger... i've been chasing my toddler around all day... literally running from the backyard to the front constantly searching for him... *pant pant* I shoulda... done... all... this... when I... was younger!

[AliBaby]

When I was 17 my dad had a son with my step mum. If I was pushin g him around the shops people would ask if he was mine and I would reply 'No!!! He is my brother". So I suppose people should just not pressume anything.

Don't worry about what other people think. Be proud that you are a yummy mummy and have a gorgeous daughter that stops people in their tracks.

[Catastrophic]

I am so use to these comments but it goes both ways... When i was picking up my little brothers from school they were (10,10 and 8) at the time, and had my little sister who was 3 with me and quite pregnant with izzabella, I had quite a few parents from the school think that they were all mine (HELLO PEOPLE I was only 20 at the time!)

Then when Izzy was born me and mum would go out with izzy as a newborn and Maddie (3) And it would either be the girls were both mums, or they were both mine :P Me and mum couldn't win!

The amount of looks i get know as i walk around with locklan (almost 6), Noah (4) AND Izzy (almost 2) is a loook of shock as into say she has soo many kids, or a look or sorrow!!! GRR... and the people that actually comment "your too young" i explain to them well actually i have 2 step sons and this is my daughter and then they think im some kind of hero for taking on 2 other kids... its so weird.

Talking about hospitals however i was surprisingly very well treated at hosp having izzy, i was 20 and didn't have a partner and they M/ws where so supportive, and we're even commenting on how well i was doing being a first time mum and that im such a natural... That really soared my self esteem!

You know who is my worst critic at being young and pregnant? my own mother, she was the same age as me, and still critics me about being to young with izzy and now im having another one i should no when to stop (hello she had 6 i've only had 2) and that we need to tie a knot in it! and she has no idea about being a step parent, she thinks that it isnt fair on me... actually when we got custody of the boys she turned around and said "oh thats not going to be fun" HELLO these are MY kids shes talking about!!! GRR

OKay i think i might need a bigger vent just on my mother lol... sorry to hijack lol!

[Persephone1]

My sister had her first son when she was 16. I worked in retail at the time, and my boss used to stand at the counter and tsk tsk all the young women with babies that walked past the shop...until I told her about my sister, but you could see she was being very judgmental, even if she didn't say anything.

And here's a funny one...when my sister was 19 (the same one with the baby at 16), she told me that someone she knew had become pregnant when she was 16. My sister goes "oh her poor family, having to cope with her and her baby." I just looked at her and said (tongue in cheek of course) "wow, what a tart!" We all laughed at her - even the judged can be judgemental!

[*LovemyKids*]

I dont get asked if they are my siblings but i do get looks like OMG she has three kids how old is she!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes me feel horrible. I do look younger then i am and i think that is why. I am 27 soon to be 28 but i do look younger then that. It is worse when i go out with daycare kids as well so i could have between 4 and 8 kids with me PMSL you should see the looks i get then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I never judge anyone, and i know there are times where i think oh i wonder if they are there kids or someone else's or if they are the grandparents or parents, i would never say anything i just smile, i would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable.

Everyone has the right to an opinion but nobody has the right to put someone else down!!!

[myson]

"Oh did you bring your dolly out today" to me, and as she spoke bubs turned her head to look at her. Old woman nearly had a heart attack. I was 12!

Bx

HA!!!!!! I would have bought tickets to see that Hoobley!!!!!