No, she's not my sister . . .

[Catastrophic]

I am so use to these comments but it goes both ways... When i was picking up my little brothers from school they were (10,10 and 8) at the time, and had my little sister who was 3 with me and quite pregnant with izzabella, I had quite a few parents from the school think that they were all mine (HELLO PEOPLE I was only 20 at the time!)

Then when Izzy was born me and mum would go out with izzy as a newborn and Maddie (3) And it would either be the girls were both mums, or they were both mine :P Me and mum couldn't win!

The amount of looks i get know as i walk around with locklan (almost 6), Noah (4) AND Izzy (almost 2) is a loook of shock as into say she has soo many kids, or a look or sorrow!!! GRR... and the people that actually comment "your too young" i explain to them well actually i have 2 step sons and this is my daughter and then they think im some kind of hero for taking on 2 other kids... its so weird.

Talking about hospitals however i was surprisingly very well treated at hosp having izzy, i was 20 and didn't have a partner and they M/ws where so supportive, and we're even commenting on how well i was doing being a first time mum and that im such a natural... That really soared my self esteem!

You know who is my worst critic at being young and pregnant? my own mother, she was the same age as me, and still critics me about being to young with izzy and now im having another one i should no when to stop (hello she had 6 i've only had 2) and that we need to tie a knot in it! and she has no idea about being a step parent, she thinks that it isnt fair on me... actually when we got custody of the boys she turned around and said "oh thats not going to be fun" HELLO these are MY kids shes talking about!!! GRR

OKay i think i might need a bigger vent just on my mother lol... sorry to hijack lol!

[angelaartsstudent]

My own mother ripped in to me about the baby bonus and how I only want the money.

Hello Mum - Hubby and I earn too much to get the new means tested baby bonus and don't care one bit!

I told her that we could always quit our jobs and get the $5000 if it matters that much to her.

She is also treating MY pregnancy like it is hers. BACK. OFF.LADY.

My sister called me a "Fat, lazy ****" for getting pregnant. Hello I'm married, we both work very hard, we've been together 6 years, I didn't know we needed her permission!

[~Serenity~]

yeah i know family seem to be the worse for it mine were like that a well someone told me i should get rid o my youngest if i ask for someone to babysit if it more than once in a blue moon i get "well you chose to have 3" so i dont even want to know what they are going to say about the next one hehe I think they either do it coz theyre jealous or theyre worried but dont know how to show it and some are just really unsupportive....i guess its a good thing i didnt have a life to start with. im married and weve been together for 6 yrs too so i dont know why ppl cant let us live how we want to and in my case have as many as we want. iv wanted heaps of kids since before the baby bonus and would still want them if it was gone.

[Glamourcide]

Oh, I'm so with you guys on this one... I was 20 when I fell pregnant with my first bub, my mum nearly hit the roof when we told her but I guess I can understand because my man and I had only been together about a month when she was conceived (we'd actually only just moved into our first house together six days before we got her in the oven)... but she soon got over it, especially once we got married ('Haha, she's got him now!! No easy way out!' I'm sure she thought), it was more the comments from strangers that annoyed me.
I remember shopping for some new clothes with mum (hubby takes the car to work so mum and I go shopping together all the time) and I chose a dress because it had room for me to grow, the manager of the store who we chat to all the time was like, 'OMG aren't you still in school though, and you're pregnant?!' Mum was like 'She's turning 21 in a few weeks' and the girl was like 'No way, I was positive you're only 17!!'
I still get carded for cigarettes so I guess I look pretty young...

The worst one was when I was about to drop, I was out and about one day and this insane woman in her 30's came up to me and started pointing at my belly (which was HUGE compared to the rest of me) and ranted on and on about how I was a disgusting human being, I must only be doing it for the money and that it was horrendous for her to see 'little girls like you BREEDING like rabbits' because she was going through IVF and hadn't been successful. Well, I'm sorry I can do what nature intended and you need help, but my age has nothing to do with how good a parent I'm going to be, same as my tattoos and piercings and 'weird' clothes aren't going to make me a bad mum. I was so upset at her ravings I didn't leave the house for a fortnight because I was scared everybody was thinking things like that about me, but I've learned just to hold my head up and give them 'the look' (which is especially effective when you have a face full of studs and a tattoo across your chest from shoulder to shoulder).

I just think it's crazy how judgmental society is towards young parents these days, my husband and I were friends for ages before we got together and we had both talked a lot about how we wanted to have kids before we were 25 because then we could focus on career later, and have less to worry about as far as age-related risks go (Down's Syndrome etc)... and even though we were pretty broke when we got pregnant, things are only getting better and better as we get older and we don't think for a second that having a house paid off, a Lexus in the driveway and enough to send our kids to a prestigious Catholic school is the way to raise kids. We think it's more important to have a mum and dad who love them to bits and can teach them that money can't buy them the important stuff in life, and there has never been a day we haven't been able to pay our bills or put food on the table so I don't see what people are so worried about.
Also, our grandparents got married straight out of high school and had a bunch of kids by the time they were in their mid-20's, so why is it suddenly such a horrible thing to have kids before you're 35? For us, there was no worrying about 'finding ourselves' or 'having a life' or 'playing the field' - we knew that we were meant to be with each other so there was no need to date a million other people just to make sure. We have no desire to travel the world or get drunk every weekend so having a family young and just living for that is perfectly fine with us.

[helle]

Gothmum, I agree with you. There is more to life than spending up big, sleeping with whoever you can and getting blown off your feet each night!! The heart wants what it wants and when you're ready you're ready!
I'm sure the IVF lady experienced pang of jealousy at seeing you pregnant, and probably wasn't directly attacking you - although it may have seemed like it!. When you have been trying so long for a baby or lose one it is very hard to see others in all their glory ^^;

[angelaartsstudent]

I am returning to work next week...workplace is a catholic school and *some* of the employees there were very rude about my pregnancy. To the point where I was asked if I wanted to have my soul saved from the sin I committed. I must make clear though that out of 100 or so staff, only 4 people were rude.

GothMum...re piercings...I have a number of piercings but no facials (yet). The most visible is the dermal implants near my collarbone. Work doesn't even bat an eyelid at them however when I dyed my hair red (a nice natural looking red mind you...which went in over bleached out pastel pink so it would have been bright to start out) a few people at work went nuts over it.

Needless to say, when they saw pics of my former dreadlocks on facebook, they nearly died.


Okay sorry...I've finished moving off topic now LOL.

[JennaJayen]

Everyone kept on telling me that I would end up being a centrelink bum and living in housing commission when I was pregnant the first time at 17. At the time, even though it was devastating to lose the baby, I was glad that I would have a chance to make something of my life before I did have kids.

And then I got pregnant again at 20, when DF and I had only been together for 3 and a half months lol and I get a lot of 'looks' from older mums... the grannies are the nicest, they sit down with me at the bus stop and ask if he's my first, and how motherhood is treating me and wish me luck for the future. A lot of them also talk about their past pregnancy's and grandkids (existing and to-be). It's interesting and I get to know people who live in my local area that I wouldn't have otherwhise talked to.

The up side of everything now though is that DF and I own our own house already and in the past 5 months we've halved our mortgage, we own a good car, we have family nearby if we need help, and DF works his butt off 6 days a week so that I can be a stay at home mum for our beautiful little boy, and we're planning our wedding for January next year.

The people who give those 'looks' should concentrate on their own problems more instead of taking offense at young mums. Most of their parents were around our age when they had their first babies.

[Inertia]

I've been a "breeder". I have walked into a store with my mum and eldest daughter and had the shop keeper look at my mum and say "Both yours?"

But the one that hurts the most, and the one that steams my little sister no end...

"Same father?"

[spooky]

I've had the plasma comment (not eligible)
I've had you're much too young to have 2 under 2 (pushing mid 30's)
I've had my father referred to as my husband (he's mid 60's)
I've had "you shouldn't have called your son that - it's a dog's name"

OK last one was a bit off topic, but I was just remembering all of the stupid comments from stupid people I've had.....

I could write pages and pages.

Can't resist one more OT - "all you have to do now is have the baby" when I was getting a car seat fitted with DS (prem) already 2 weeks old. Way to boost my self esteem...

I would think that the children having a loving environment is the most important, regardless of their parent's age...

[Glamourcide]

Can't resist one more OT - "all you have to do now is have the baby" when I was getting a car seat fitted with DS (prem) already 2 weeks old. Way to boost my self esteem...

Lol at least it was only 2 weeks after bub arrived!! DD was four months old when DH and I went to his work Christmas party... our first night out since getting pregnant, so of course we let our hair down - I was smoking like a chimney, sinking booze like it was going out of fashion, and a couple of the other 'wives' at the party were like, 'Oh, so when are you due?'
Uh.. um. About four months ago. Sorry, I'm not one of these celebrities that gets out of the maternity ward and straight back into their size zero skinny jeans!!

I think the thing that annoyed me more though, was their casual attitude towards thinking I was pregnant and drinking like a fish - like, I'm young so I *must* be one of those people who gets drunks twice a week throughout their pregnancy, why bother commenting on it because I'll probably just break out the tequila slammers to spite them, right?

[angelaartsstudent]

I got a full LECTURE from some random stranger yesterday about using washing/laundry powder with my AIO cloth nappies.

According to her if I use powder my baby will die from SIDS becuase of the fumes and I MUST use liquid.

I was told by 3 people over the weekend that I looked like my baby would come early and that I had "dropped". Get stuffed, I think i will know when it "drops" and it sure as hell hasn't happened yet!

My own mother is convinced I am so stupid that I don't even know my own body. She is CONVINCED that I am a month more pregnant than I actually am.

Funnily enough I never get comments when my husband is with me. He is 25 years older than I am. I guess people figure I am older becuase he is.

I can't walk through a supermarket without 3 people in one day telling me I am going to have the baby early but when I went to a couple of wineries with hubby on the long weekend, not one person peeped up about me tasting some wine.

The world is a strange place.

[Glamourcide]

^ Lol I had someone tell me recently that using baby powder on DD's backside at nappy changes/after baths would give her ovarian/cervical cancer.

...Yup. Strange place, indeed.

[angelaartsstudent]

Yeah my Mum reckons that having sex with an uncircumsised man gives cervical cancer too.

[Rouge]

That last one is not entirely false, skewed but not false.

Studies have shown (since the big one done in 2002) that there is a HPV infection that can cause a specific type of cercival cancer found to be a higher rate in uncirced men, they now think Circ protects against HPV (that doesn't mean everyone should rush out and get circed though!). But its completely irrelevant because of the new vaccine. Thats probably what she's talking about but is WAAAAAAY exaggerating it.

[angelaartsstudent]

Yeah I know about the study but wasn't about to let her have allt he credit, was I? LOL.

[mumma_lion]

I had just turned 20 when we found out I was pg. I was going to my 20 or so week scan and hubby wasn't able to come with me. (I said to hubby if it is a girl she will have her legs crossed). Anyway I was having the scan and the DR (male) asked if I wanted to see if we could find out the sex of the baby I said yes. I then told him what I said to my hubby 'if it is a girl she will have her legs crossed? the dr then said to me that I should have kept my legs crossed and I would not be in this situation. I said to him excuse me I have been married for over 2 years, I planned to have this baby and don't forget I am the one paying you.

I had my DD at 1am and I will planning on leaving the same day if we were both okay. Dr on duty came in and said "I heard you want to go home today? I said yes that?s right. He then said ?that?s a stupid idea, your young; this is your first baby and you don't know what you?re doing? I then replied ?well I will never learn anything with you being around and having that attitude?. Paediatrician checked DD and said I was fine to go home.

I remember going shopping with DD and stepson she was out 4 months old (I was 21) and my stepson was nearly 12. I was in a really bad mood. Some woman started talking to me about DD and then she said to me that I must of been a bad girl when I was younger? I said why?, She said ?because you would have been no more than 14 when you had your son, you must of been 12 or 13 when you started having sex? I said ?no actually I was having sex when I was 7 and gave birth at 9, you?re a ****head? I then walked off.

Fast forward a few years on the Easter weekend my hubby and I thought we would take Stepson (who is nearly 19) to the Casino in the Gold Coast. I arranged a baby sitter to come to the hotel to take care of DD 7 and DS 9 mths. We were down playing the roulette tables and a woman was standing near me we started talking (she was at least 50 or over). She asked if that was my hubby there and then asked who was that on the other side of my hubby. I said that was my stepson. She then asked if I had any children, I said yes DD 7 and a DS who is 9 mths, she then replied oh your children have different fathers, I said no they have the same father we have been married for nearly 10 years. We then left the table. I stayed for about 45 more minutes before I decided to call it a night (I think it was around 10pm). Hubby and stepson stayed till about 1 am, not long after I left that woman kept going to the same table as Hubby and stepson. She tried to chat up hubby but hubby said he was not interested. She then sat down next to stepson asked him if he wanted a drink, asked him if he had a girlfriend and then she was telling him how experienced she is at pleasing men. His reply to her was ?listen I am not interested and by the way you are old enough to be my grandmother? Hubby said he has never seen someone get up and leave as quickly as she did.

[JennaJayen]

Just had toput in a little rant even though the thread is a bit old.

Last friday I was down the street with my best friend, and I was writing txt msg on my phone, not looking where I was going and nearly ran into a garbage bin. Some lady walking past had the gall to say to me "Just practising are you?" I gave her a dark look and said "nooo... I was busy sending my fiance a msg asking him when he would be getting home from work and wasn't paying attention to where I was going." She hurried off rather quickly.
Same day, my friend and I went into the local St Vinnies op-shop to have a look. We were looking in the baby socks tray and there were a few women in there. We found a cute pair of Bob the Builder socks that fitted my DS and looked brand new, and were exclaiming about how cute they were and three of those women literally 'Sniffed' and put their noses in the air.
The volunteers thought we were babysitting, but once I told them he was my son they were really nice about it, and gave us the socks for 20 cents.
I get so p'd off at people keep on asking if DS is my first, and the looks I get when I am down the street with my stepmother and little brother and sister. They think that all three of them are mine, or all of us are my step-mum's. My stepmum is only 40, she has a 21yr old and a 15yr old as well as a 3 1/2yr old and a 2 1/2 year old. DS is almost 7 months and I'll be 22 on saturday. It's like I have to explain everything. Yeah, DS wasn't planned, but I love him to bits and I wouldn't change anything, but do people always have to judge me?
I'm wearing an engagement ring for fs. It's very noticeable, especially as I never wear gloves and usually have my sleeves rolled upand my hand on the pram in a way that shows it off.
A couple of people also asked me last week if I was living in housing commission! What could I say other than 'No, do youlive in housing commission? fyi DF and I own our own house and in the last 6 months have gone from having 30yrs left to pay to 13yrs left to pay. Are you doing as good as we are?"
omg, I've hijacked the thread, and my post is so long, but this has been building up for the past week. Sorry all.

[Persephone1]

My sister had her first son when she was 16. I worked in retail at the time, and my boss used to stand at the counter and tsk tsk all the young women with babies that walked past the shop...until I told her about my sister, but you could see she was being very judgmental, even if she didn't say anything.

And here's a funny one...when my sister was 19 (the same one with the baby at 16), she told me that someone she knew had become pregnant when she was 16. My sister goes "oh her poor family, having to cope with her and her baby." I just looked at her and said (tongue in cheek of course) "wow, what a tart!" We all laughed at her - even the judged can be judgemental!