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thread: By who's standards is it too young?

  1. #55
    Registered User

    Oct 2005
    Kingaroy, QLD

    Rayla ~ How do you do it with 6? What are their ages? I had a friend up in QLD who had just had just fallen with her 8th child, and her kids were 8,7,5,4,3,1. They were so well behaved and she never had to raise her voice to them. I have trouble controlling my two toddlers sometimes! I haven't even been out with all three children by myself since DS#3 was born. I am dreading it!

  2. #56
    Registered User

    May 2006

    I'm a "young one" i guess.

    I had DD when i was 18, ( i was 4 weeks pg on my 18th bday) and married at 22 and (hopefully) will have number 2 when im 22 (going by LMP my due date is the day before my 23rd brithday).

    Having children has made me grow up beyond my imagination, no drugs, smokes or alcohol for me anymore (well alcohol on special occassions when im not pregnant), I'm a totally new (good) person now since i had DD and i will be forever greatful for that.


  3. #57
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    East Maitland nsw

    I'm 25 and we are TTC our first, I have friends though that have just had their first at 25 and they say they feel judged for having children at 25, so I take my hat off to those who are mature enough to take on the job of being a parent. Parenting is the hardest job in the world society and their wider community should be celebrating these woman and supporting them rather than judging them.
    I will stop preaching now.lol
    Last edited by rachm; May 14th, 2006 at 08:28 PM.

  4. #58
    Registered User

    Sep 2004
    Sydney's Norwest

    Guess I'm another one that belongs in here. Actaully I know. I found out I was pg with my first DS 1 week before my 17th birthday, he was born 4 months before my 18th.. Does that make me the youngest in here? Hope not. I had my 2nd DS when I was 20.5 years old. Another DS and suddenly I'm not so young anymore at the age of 28 and finally DD at 31. I copped all of the stares and bad looks, I was so ademant that I wasn't going to be your "typical" teenage mum. My child wore cloth nappies, I breastfed, and he was always well dressed and looked after. I guess these were the ways the I felt people would expect me to fail in.
    Now when people ask how many children I have and I tell them 4 I usually get "oh you don't look old enough to have 4 kids" even moreso when I tell tehm how old my first DS is. Always brings a smile to my face.

    I guess the only thing I find sad about starting so early is that at the age of 32 my family is complete. I have friends and even other girls on BB around my age who are only just starting. I know I still have plenty of years of baby making in me though. Shame they will go unused On the upside, by the time my kids are grown and left home, DP and I will still be young enough to enjoy our lives.

  5. #59
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    Home of the Winery Walkabout!

    Well I'm 30 and pregnant with my 6th child and hubby is 23.This is his 3rd child. I fell pg when I was 19 and had him when I was 20.When I fell pg, my friends were appalled that I was going to be tied down with a baby, they expected me to be out partying with them all the time. One by one they stopped coming around and eventually I never heard from them again.When I fell pg with number 2 I got the" why do you want another one?"
    No. 3 I had moved and I got support from a lot of my new friends. When no.4 was announced, I got the usual "have you realised what causes it yet!" No.5 ppl ignored me and now with this one they have done the same.

  6. #60
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Western Australia

    I had my first when i was 19, second at 21 third at 24 and Sammy at 31. When Im out just with Sammy people I dont know assume he is my first. They get the shock of their lives when I say no I have 3 beautiful girls as well. I dont really have any negativity forwarded to me regarding having starting as a young mum. The kids have naturally all been exceptionally cared for and are stunning little individuals. People see that. It is difficult though..women seem to be so hard on each other.


  7. #61
    Registered User

    Oct 2005

    I agree with all of you. Motherhood is a tough role let alone all the opinions about your age and parenting skills constantly picked at. I would have thought under 18 was a young mum. I had my first just after my 22nd and am having my second now. I have actually found that I have pcos which can cause problems with conceiving and the drs said that I was lucky that I knew while I was young as I had a much better chance of being able to have children as I had time on my side. If you are older and have children that's fine, I respect your reasons, but I wish those older people would also respect our reasons.


  8. #62
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2006

    It is good to read your opinion on motherhood age! I kind of know where you are coming from. I started trying at 24, but eventually concvd at 32. I look VERY young for my age and i admit, people do seem to look down on me? I dont understand it either. There is nothing wrong with being a young mum. There is many positives to it, and at least you will have more energy for your grand children. How times have changed. When i was born, my mum was 20. This was the NORM back then! So why do people have a problem with it now? I hate to say it but i saw on ACA where they did studies into parenting ages and they found the younger mums aparently coped better!!

  9. #63
    mummyof2boys Guest

    I am also a young mum. I was 17 when I had my 1st son, 19 for my 2nd. I married their father and couldn't be happier. However, I'm not going to turn around and recommend that my sister (16.5-the age I was when I conceived) gets pregnant. I never planned to have my 1st child at 17, but it happened, and I dealt with it. I think it all depends on the individual, but while in high school, it is not a great idea. Hubby and I are both studying at uni, and seriously considering trying for baby no. 3. We are constantly stared at (I am a petite bulid so I look 17, but am 20) in the shops and at the park. We have only recently moved to Lismore from brissy, so I am finding it extremely hard to find friends. No one can be bothered to take the time to get to know a 'tart', or so they believe. Its hard to break to stereotypical view of teenage and young mums. A lady at the daycare that my 2.5yr old goes to once a week was commending my hubby and I for the way we bring our child up. He is polite, friendly, knows how to count to 10 and knows his abc's. The stereotypical view that some hold of all young mothers being 'tarts' and sleeping around is uneducated and false. We also love our children and would, and do, do everything for our child/ren.

  10. #64
    Kisa Guest

    I got pregnant at 18 and had my DD at 19. I'm now 20 and currently TTC #2.
    I know I'm young, but when I fell pregnant we were married, both working full-time and the baby was planned!
    When I say I had a baby at 19 people think DH and I were irresponsible and got pregnant by accident. I live in a small town and the teen pregnancy rate is high. People here have a very judgemental view of young mothers. But I don't identify myself with that stereotype. DH has an excellent job, we have a nice house, nice cars and we live comfortably. We don't go out partying. In fact, going out by ourselves is saved for very special occassions (engagement parties, etc).
    People are often surprised to hear that we are young parents because we don't fit the image that they have in their mind of what a young parent is.

  11. #65
    Registered User

    Mar 2006

    I started trying at 24, but eventually concvd at 32. I look VERY young for my age and i admit, people do seem to look down on me? I dont understand it either.
    Elly - you are so right. I am 25 and have just started birthing classes. My DH (27) and I are the youngest in the class and the looks I get from people! My Goodness! I've never felt so ashamed of myself before and I haven't done anything wrong! We've been married for 5 years, have a nice home, nice jobs, are respectable people, and very much want this baby! Since when did having a baby in your mid-20's become taboo? I admire anyone who has a baby at ANY age (especially younger ones) and can cope well. Motherhood is no easy task!

    Love MG

  12. #66
    Registered User

    Mar 2006

    Trish wrote

    I was so ademant that I wasn't going to be your "typical" teenage mum. My child wore cloth nappies, I breastfed, and he was always well dressed and looked after. I guess these were the ways the I felt people would expect me to fail in.
    I am the same with mine (except the cloth nappies ). Because there are 7 of them I am always conscious that people will automatically assume I'm a...hmmm how do I say it without offending anyone, lol....a bogun, trying to bankrupt Centrelink or am in some kind of cult, LMAO!!. My children are very polite and clean, well dressed, excel in their schoolwork (except one who I'm hoping is artistic or good with his hands, lol).

    I was 21 when I had my first and am 32 now and may (or may not ) be finished adding to my family.

  13. #67
    Registered User

    Nov 2005
    in a house!

    im finally pregnant at age 21!! Junior is due 4 days afer my 22nd bday

  14. #68
    Registered User

    Mar 2006

    My nana had her first when she was just 18 and then continued on to have 5 children, my mum had her first at 22 and had 2 more by the age of 28...so when did it become unacceptable to have children in their late teens? Was it because a group of women decided they would have their children later on in life, and then every one else seemed to follow because then this became the 'done thing' ? I mean my MIL didn't have her first till she was 29 and in those days every one just assumed that she couldn't have any but really that was her personal choice (Mind you she's in her early 50's now)..

    I'm 20 and my dd is almost 5 months old and I've had a couple of hurtful comments, I suppose it doesn't help that I look younger but I'd have plenty of things to say to the parent who raised these people believing that they can go and belittle a stranger in the street because my decisions aren't 'ideal' in their eyes.

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