I just wanted to welcome you back (I was HannahD when you were here last).

I don't think there is any harm in continuing to pursue your dream. As you said, your heart wants what it wants. If you don't try, you'll always wonder 'what if?'. As StarBright said, you need to figure out how far your willing to go to achieve your dream family of 5. It's probably better to figure out where the line is sooner rather than adopt a wait and see approach. It might be easier to be at peace just in case you do reach that line.

That's just my 2-cents bearing in mind I've never been in a similar situation. I really just wanted to welcome you back and wish you all the best xx