Oh Reggie

I hear you! My DH is always too tired. We haven't DTD this year and I tried to remember when the last time was and I honestly don't know - probably mid last year sometime. It makes me sad and frustrated but I have stopped begging for it and I have stopped trying all manner of ploys and discussions to pursuade him.

We are now doing IVF but it is not because we don't DTD - it wouldn't work even fi we did. And he now uses that excuse too - the one that made me laugh (and want to cry) was that he was paying someone else a lot of money to get me pregnant so why should he 'interfere'!

If I were you I would lay it on the line. Get all the info that you can on IVF and the costs and tell him that if he doesn't perform then these are the consequences so in effect he should think of himself being paid every time he does the deed (I suspect that all boys secretly like the idea of being paid for their services )

Seriously though, you need to communicate to him - maybe try giving him more notice of when you think you will be needing him.

Please don't let youself get into the situation that I find myself in (it started exactly the way that you described yoru r'ship) because more than anything else it is sad. And now there is really no way out of my situation because I love him but our relationship has suffered because we aren't DTD but its been so long now that I don't really miss it anymore - but I do remember when I did - and that is when I shoudl have really done something about it. Now it just makes me sad.