Hi Tunz, I think others have pretty much summed up what I would say too, but I also just wanted to send hugs your way. I also wanted to thank you for posting, because it lets people know that they are not alone. Sometimes, it can feel so incredibly isolating and it helps to know that there are others, like the strong women on these forums, who are going through the same struggle every day.
I too feel such a conflict with old dear friends who have easily become pregnant, and have tried their best to be sensitive even, but still, on some deep level, I just hate them. I hate their guts. I love them too. But I am so angry, and so envious. For me, it helps to state and own those emotions, and not to be afraid of them, because they are "negative" or not appropriate for a woman to express, in the way that we're socialised.
Of course, I rarely actually say anything to my friends. My friends don't make too many clangers, though my one friend phoning me ONLY when she's breast-feeding, with audible slurps and cries from the baby, I find very insensitive. But then, Tunz, your story about your cousin and Mildez, yours about your friend asking for your baby things - these just take the freaking cake.
I think what makes it so painful is incongruity, maybe. Like you value yourself as a loving, generous friend, but when you see your friend, you experience anger or resentment (or even hatred) and this jars. Also, for me, I just feel a deep physical pain after spending too much time with these girls who have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA. That's what it comes down to, as well - feeling this inevitable distance and disconnection, and loneliness, like you're about to be excluded from the free reproducing world, or something.
OMG, sorry for the soap box.
I suppose I mainly wanted to say: You are not alone. This is what my Chinese doctor said to me after my last failed cycle. I started crying then.
As for whether to see your friends, as the others say, pace yourself, protect yourself, be a "mum" to yourself and though there'll be pain either way (seeing/not seeing), you'll get that sense of "aah, this feels right" when you are being kind to yourself. You deserve it.
All the best and sorry for the diatribe,
WW