Sorry ladies for being MIA but school holidays are here and I took my girls camping. My boys went to their dads for a week and they went camping to lol. Everyone came home yesterday so we have a full house again. My house looks like a tornado went through it but I'm to tired and nauseas to clean it. Wish I could pay for a cleaning crew to come through and make it sparkle DF and DS1 have undercoated the bathroom last night and while it looks good it makes our bathroom look so much smaller. I will have to get some accessories to make it look better.
Hello i just found this thread so decided to say hi as well
Im 40 married and expecting my 3rd any day/week now. We have DS 10 DSS 19 (off at unit interstate) DSS 16 nearly and ours 28 mths DS .
This is my first marriage and DH second and we have been together since Jan 2007 and married for 18 mths so not that long at all.
My son goes to his fathers every other weekend and half the holidays and like others thankgod school has gone back as they do get bored and want to live inside and hover around us grrrr
The DSS did live with their mum but that didnt last long with their mum going a tad mad and throwing them out to live with their dad (so here they are). We have had some rough moments in the past 2 yrs with trhe oldest DSS but hopefully he is growing out of the attitude etc etc slowly but surely being away at school/uni . I have hps of stories re me and the boundaries with the DSSs......
welcome nina21 and bubno.3 great to see you here
nina you sound like a happy household thats great!
bubno3 your place sounds a bit lke mine goodluck with the baby any day now and if you dont mind sharing your stories about boundaries that would be great as my situation of late is very much being driven by what my husband says and its frustrating for me as we need to agree on boundaries i think as both my dss are pushing the limits lately
kimb hope the bathroom is sorted soon how far along are you in the pregnancy i suffered nausea also not nice
hello to everyone else and hope the return to school has been smooth
ps we are shaping up to being a good blend of different types of families
Last edited by marlin; October 4th, 2010 at 01:13 PM.
Good luck with the new bubba bubno3 hope they have a safe arrival soon.
Marlin I said we are happy "Most" of the time lol.
i think the biggest issue we have at the moment is my DS12 he has turned into a surly preteen that knows everything and has an attitude problem. My DH and my ex absolutely despise each other and that doesnt help because DH will always say "He is turning out just like his father" which isnt a good thing trust me lol. I personally think it is a jealousy issue with my DH he wishes he was their dad and hates having to share them with a person he hates if that makes sense, I am hoping that starting high school next year will knock some of the smartass out of DS as he will be at the bottom of the food chain again instead of the top iykwim and will have to pull his head in a bit. DH absolutely adores all of the kids but when DS comes back from his fathers house he is horrible because he gets away with it over there and my ex has a stepson 13 who is an absolute spolit nightmare he gets heaps of pocket money for no chores, he is allowed way too much freedom and DS is granted the same liberties when he is there so although he has no desire to live with his dad he thinks that he can act like that when he comes home. I guess we are sricter because we are raising them 24/7 and have to be and he gets to be the fun parent with no boundaries. Sorry for the rant but it actually feels good to be able to express it.
hey im back to tell tales out of school (well out of the house anyway lol)
I just love this how we can VENT and no one ever needs to know haha
Except in some cases the scenarios to get to the venting is serious and not nice to go though Dont people agree?
I have to be brutally honest DH and i have had so many rough patches in our very short time together it isnt funny and damn right scary . I honestly think it is his baggage that he came in with with his ex wife (who used to abuse him physically and mentally at times) and then accused him of horrible things and made him go to court so he could continue to be in the kids lives .... ironically only a few years later and after all the $$$$ spent on lawyers and courts his kids are with him! Some women are just plain horrible and try to get away with 'murder' so to speak ! Hense my DH has all this deep down baggage that at time even he doesnt even knows exists ONLY after i tell him .... after he has done a b or c towards me !
BUT now he mentally thinks he owes everything to his kids for putting them through all the crap (which he didnt start he just had to make it happen so the children sore their father) ... his ds 19 is getting hand outs left right and centre as he is in tassy and he just refuses to get a job but still expects a uni education and obviously exoect his father to help pay.... well i can understand and apreciate that as i went through uni (bachelor of nursing) and my parents helped but i worked and i worked damn hard on weekends ect etc juts to top up mu account. Mr dss 19 just refuses so dad pays him $250 fortnight ... $150 of that is supposed to go towards board but he reckons nan refuses the money... i asked well where is it all then ... oh it has been spent hasnt it ... Thats $500 a month that is not bad is it especially when your not giving Nan anything ? But i can see this kid being 25 yrs and still no degree and no money as he is too damn lazy to get off his bum and get one ....
See i could go on and on so i wont ...
x
This is just the place to let off steam!!
Its great to be able to share this I can relate totally to you nina21 and bubno3
You only get it if you live in a step family situation imo
We are in the middle of trying to sort out house rules again as the situation here is changing get jobs no jobs at tafe etc I think you have to be constantly on the ball and talking about it together
Its hard when the rules are different at each house but we just try and reinforce that as our kids normal
This is not a perfect world anyhow
Dont get me wrong I choose to be in this situation it just gets hard at times
I need to create space from it at times
Wow bubno3 sounds like your DSS has his father wrapped around his little finger that sux as DH probably cant see it for what it is, guilt whether warranted or not is such a powerful emotion, not sure how you fix that one hun, hopefully DH will see he isnt doing his son any favours by enabling this deceitful, lazy behaivour.
We went through a really nasty and expensive court battle over the kids too my ex decided one day that because he had a child support debt he couldnt afford to have the kids anymore so he said call off the debt or I am not having the kids anymore and that was that he never saw the kids for 14 mths over $2500 sooooo ridiculous but then he spent over $6000 in legal fees to get visitation again, the man is an idiot I swear lol But in hindsight that 14 mths allowed my DH to bond completely with the kids especially my DS but also made it harder to hand them over again. I try to tell my DH that DS is just a homonal preteen and that it has nothing to do with his father or his step brother or anything else but sadly I can see the distance between them growing but not exactly sure what I can do about it, just no getting through to my son at the moment, he is a good kid dont get me wrong but just sooooooo moody and fights with my DD 6 which is our DD together all the time and over nothing he is just so mean to her and DH is protective I guess aarrrggggg maybe I will move out till they all hit 21 then come back lol.
DF and DS1 have undercoated the bathroom last night and while it looks good it makes our bathroom look so much smaller. I will have to get some accessories to make it look better.
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