Ex husband wants guarentee ill bring kids back after Trip to New Zealand
I want to take kids to New Zealand to visit my new husbands relatives We have been 2 times since marriage and never taken the two eldest children as the Ex husband has refused to allow us to. We want to go for 4 weeks. We just had a baby and want to show him off to my husbands family in New Zealand also its the inlaws ruby anniversary and the grand mothers 98th birthday plus my new husbands parents are getting older and there is farm and future issues to discuss BUT the ex husband wants a guarantee that ill bring back the two children we had in our previous marraige together. I have no issue with this what so ever, i totally understand why he may even want one and thats fine but What can i use as a guarantee is the question as words arnt enough i don't think.
When i asked him what would be a guarantee he said i don't know. Yet thats the only reason thats stopping him from saying yes to getting the passports. Any ideas. Obviously the fact i am renting and have a house load full of things and all my family is in Australia doesn't help him feel any more assured. Let alone i have a caravan and car too here.
Help any ideas?
I already suggested phone call and internet and web cam dates and times. I said he could have every contact detail of our locations over there and even ring the inlaws to confirm what we are doing and where we will be staying.
I said ild give him all my bank details even car redgo number of what ill be driving over there. I also said ild give him the red book from birth for all kids. And as any mother knows this book is essential for daycares and schools.
I can't really think of anything else possible?
A signed contract??
I do understand where he's coming from, but I kinda think what you have said should be enough.
I can't think of anything else that might help, but I really hope you sort it out & the kids can go.
My SIL is Maori & I'd love to take our family over there one day when the kids are a bit older.
Does he think about how amazing it would be for the kids to see another country?
Hey darl,im not sure about gurantees to bring them back but i know with my sister when her father wanted to take her to nz he had to get my mother to sign a form that gave him permission to take her out of the country. unfortunately my mother didnt see her daughter or hear from her for another 9 years...
oh crap kristy lee oh well thats awe full i have no intention of anything lika that my father would kill me. No wonder why ex partners are so scared of things like this .
Hang on a sec, if he is the one asking for a guarantee you will be back, he can be the one that decides what he wants from you, within reason.
It sounds like you are being reasonable and I understand it from his point of view, but heck have you given him an idea you wont come back? Doesnt sound like it!
i would suggest you go to family relationships advice line or local family relationships centre and seek mediation - you can then come up with a parenting plan in writing regarding the overseas trip - if he doesn't "trust" you, he can then have it lodged as a court order
but if you sign to say you'll return them and don't, he can still follow up on details of having the children technically abducted as he has a written agreement kwim?
I agree with Briggsy's girl. Speak to a family relationships centre or community legal centre. If he is being unreasonable (sounds like he is) it is definitely possible to get a court order saying you are allowed to take the children out of the country at specified times and return them at a specified time. Also the children can be placed on a port watch list with the Federal Police to ensure that they only leave the country in keeping with the agreement and then if you don't bring them back (which you are obviously going to) he has something official and can immediately have you tracked down in NZ and brought home. Maybe this would provide some reassurance for him? But talk to a relationship centre or legal centre to find out the best way to go about this.
Good luck!
hi and thanks for your idea's so far. I do like the idea and concept of some legal proof i have to come back weathor that be a court order or be a statutory declaration if we use a stat dec i will get a nz one plus an Australian one. this morning i will be calling the school and ask them if its o.k with them next year to do this for 4 weeks in school term as this was a question the ex husband wanted me to find out to help his desition. I would think this would be fine But i would be insisitant on them taking school work or having it emailed to us and caned back t the school dont want them t miss out on ANY THING well as much as we can handle with them. I am sure they will still have some catch me up. But my new husband is a teacher aide so he will have no issue in assisting a long with me with the kids school work.
You would think he would know himself what a guarantee would be ( mean he is asking for it) hey especially knowing i married a new zealander and that all his family is there ya would think we would visit them hey. Especially if they were paying some of our fee's.
Ex husband wants guarentee ill bring kids back after Trip to New Zealand
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