I'm not sure what advice to offer you, I'm a single mum and have been so so extremely lucky that my DD and partner hit it off immediatley and are very good friends. It was easier though cause she is younger (almost 5) and there is no bad past history except for the issues we've had with her dad and his current gf. We have been together almost a year now and they just keep getting closer and closer.

I really just wanted to wish you the best of luck with everything, having been through the custordy and access stuff i can tell you now it can be frustrating and depressing and make you angry and everything else, but hopefully in the end you get the best outcome like i have

I know how hard it is for kids to understand the complexity of the 'adult issues' in the past and how hard it can be for kids to let a new partner and in your case their own dad get close to them after everything thats happened, i know myself then even in my mid 20's i found it hard accepting my mums new partner.

I really do wish you and your partner the best with everything