Currently on the other side of the fence. My dd (also 11) refuses to see her bio father but didnt want to tell him, so I did it. I'm sure they blame me but, frankly I don't give a damn. Could it be that your DSD doesn't want to come anymore, quite independently of her mum?? (Not necessarily because of her feelings for her dad, but because when you are 11, friends and extra curricular activities seem more important).