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Thread: WE want atleast 4

  1. #19

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    hmmmmm now let me see.... tough choice here, what would I want?



    Money? Or love?

    Since love doesn't divide, it multiplies, then thats stacks of love. Who needs stacks of money when you can have stacks of love instead
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
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  2. #20

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    You're all amazing!!! I would love 4 but dh is set on two. I refuse to argue with him about it now though - I'll save all the energy for after no2 arrives. I always say that I'd like to have enough kids that they don't need to take friends on holidays - hehehe.

    I don't know why everyone has to comment - everyone lives the life that they choose. I think many people these days are way to selfish to have too many kids because they want the latest of everything. When you look back on your death bed you're not going to say - geez I wish we didn't have the last two kids and got that plasma tv instead...hehehe....

  3. #21

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    I argued with DH about no. 4 when no 3 was born and slept through at 3 weeks old LOL, helped that Jemma was an angel baby cos Dh was happy to have another.

    And Kristie that is exactly the point, I don't think you'd regret having them but you will regret not

  4. #22

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    I guess I come from the other direction; I'm sure my DH would love 3 or 4 but I would be happy with two. I come from a family of 6 kids and although we certainly did without (my Dad was unemployed alot), I can certainly vouch for what amazing imaginations we all had to make up for it all. There's alot to be said about coming from a large family - so many life values to be learnt and although there certainly were times when I wish I could have things that my friends had; I don't think I would have ever been happy as an only child.

    My DH came from the polar opposite to my world. One of three kids with a professional father and a Mum that occasionally worked to pay for those extra things. He had the trips overseas so his Dad could work in various countries; and most of things he wished for. His parents didn't spoil him, but they certainly didn't do without. Perhaps that's why he struggles so much with the concept that we are struggling to financially keep our head above water? I'm not happy with the situation and I know that all of the hard work he's putting in now will eventually lead to a better place; but I've been there and I know that we'll make ends meet. Some might argue that having Maddy at this time wasn't the best decision but I wouldn't swap all of the money & items in the world for our daughter; and her brother or sister that we hope to have in a few years time.

    To be honest, money is important. Sadly more important in our society than I think most of us wish it was; but everything these days seems to be about having the most, the biggest, the best. I dont personally agree with the argument that having three instead of four is going to leave you so much more financially capable. Sure, I honestly believe there are couples out there that shouldn't have any more children for financial reasons...but that's not because they can't afford to take their 5 children overseas to Disneyland; it's because they can't afford to clothe or feed them.

    The other girls are right, you can always earn more money and buy more things; but love is truly what makes you happy at the end of the day and NOTHING is more beautiful than the love that a child brings into your life.

    If you and DH both want it, go for it! I can't think of anything worse than looking back in 10 years time and saying 'Man I wish we'd tried for that fourth child that we both wanted'. Sure, you might have more of the house paid off or own the car outright; and the family might think you made the right choice; but there also could have been a special little prince or princess making your life just that extra bit special!
    Last edited by Beckibee; June 19th, 2006 at 02:27 PM.

  5. #23
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    I love you ladies!
    Why haven't I seen this thread before???
    I have seven. Eight if you count my angel boy. Six of my own and two foster boys.
    I love it and I would go back again in an instant.
    My father was always going off at me about having money and a career and that if I kept having kids they would go without. The week before he died, he said to me that life had nothing to do with money, it had everything to do with family and having people around you who you loved. Bless him, it took him until his dying day to find out something I have known all along.
    We don't go without, we just do things differently. We are planning a camping holiday next, beach front! Our house is noisy and messy and I love it because it's full and challenging and ALWAYS interesting!

  6. #24

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    yay Tiff! I can imagine just how noisy it is cos mine is super noisy and there are 4 lol, I love the way that you took on your "boys" and I think you and your DH are terrific parents. And so glad that your Dad truly realised in the end how right you were.
    hugs Michelle

  7. #25
    Ellibam Guest

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    Dh and i have been talking alot lately and i think our number might be 8 or 9 now!!!
    but what we think we will do is TRY and have 3 relativley close then a gap maybe 5 years then 3 more another gap and then finish off the family!!!
    this we haven't shared with the family and probably wont!!!

  8. #26

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    Yeah well Elissa I think it's best not to share, then you won't have to listen to everyone else's opinion, and if you decide not to they won't htik they talked you out of it either LOL You have the time to fit them all in so wat ever you want to do you should.

  9. #27
    Kirsty77 Guest

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    Sounds perfect to me Ellissa!

  10. #28

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    I just wanted to say that I so know how you feel, this is a real issue for us too we have so many family and friends saying why ???? why would you want more than 2 what about money what about the way the world is what about this what about that they will miss out on so much its not when they are young its when they get older blaa blaa blaa, and it drives me mad we want 4 deffinately and may even have more but will see how things go,

    so many people think they have the right to tell you the way it should be, I am of the opinion that they do not have to raise them or pay for them etc... so it is not their business, you are all an inspiration.

    I am a mum thats what I am and thats what I want to be I have never really had any real career aspirations and this is what I love to do so whats so wrong with that, why do people have to have an opinion about it grrrrr.

    I love the thought that when our kids are older they will have eachother I love being close to my 2 brothers I am so proud of them and love being around them and watching the things they do with their lives thats family and what is more important than that ???? nothing IMO

  11. #29
    tiggy Guest

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    Amy I agree with you wholeheartedly!
    IMO, people are going to be judgemental, no matter what. You have to do what is right for you!

  12. #30
    allidancer Guest

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    I have 4 beautiful but mischievious children and have just discovered that #5 is on the way. I don't think i really knew how many i wanted to start with i just knew i didn't want to start until i was 23. Lol i had 3 at the age of 21! At the beginning of the year i joked about having another baby then got serious and taked hubby round.

    Just before i found out i was pg i changed my mind and decided i wanted to concentrate on my dancing career... woops! Anyway i figure i can still dance through my pgcy and then later hopfully will still be able to teach and perform.

  13. #31

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    Congrats allidancer on no.5, I am sure you will have plenty of time for the dancing LOL The more the merrier!
    hugs Michelle

  14. #32

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    Congratulations Allidancer.

    I always thought I`d want 4 children but lately DH has been talking about 6 children and bear in mind I also have 2 DSS`s, so if we go along and have 4 of our own that`s 6 in total or if we go along with DH`s thoughts of 6 that`ll be 8 in total.

    I`m onto #2 myself (well it`s still cooking but YKWIM) or #4 if you include 2 DSS`s.

    I`m going to get this one out of the way first then go from there, whatever we decide on 4 or 6 they will all be close in age as I`m 32 already so don`t have much time up my sleeve before problems might arrive.

    Take Care

    DEe

  15. #33

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    Even though we just had our youngest (number 3), and for a while my wife who had not originally wanted 3 (after having two she decided 4 - 6 was not going to happen) has now decided we will be trying for number 4 no later than about a year (time will tell). Right now I feel content but have wanted and still want to be open to the possibility of more children. I think unfortunately we have to apply a tough skin when facing others with the desire or fulfillment of our desire to have large families. At one time every one had large families and then went through this phase where 2 was the max and the norm. We all are having to break that norm. Who knows, we may all be pioneering the next wave of large families all across the globe...lol. Heidi (DW) and I some what defuse the situation by making a joke upfront. We just tell people "hey, what can we say, were breeders!". If you want more children to love and hold, donít hold back because some family member (other than you and spouse) canít handle it or because the general public wants to be snooty about it. Go for it! Besides, later on odds are the family member will be unable to imagine life with out that extra child or his/her additional siblings to be!

  16. #34

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    Well said Rob and welcome to BB! Nice to see a male opionion. Sometimes we still mention no.5 but on the whole I am content with my 4, needless to say if divine intervntion gave us another we would love it just the same but I am now content in myself feeling that 4 is enough for me.

  17. #35

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    They sure are Lindie!

    My hubby would love another one...Me ..im not sure...I think Im like Michelle at this point and not wanting to try but if divine intervention decides well then lmao!

    Jo

  18. #36

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    lol Yeah the thing is I do try to stop it lol. I am wanting my DH to make the final choice and have the snip, it is his turn o provide protection and OI am on the pill and want to give my body a rest. My DH would love more but also as he is self employed and I am not working we also don't want to cripple ourselves fianlcially. I guess there are always fors and agaisnts but as long as you are true to yourself then nothing else matters.

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