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Thread: WE want atleast 4

  1. #1
    Ellibam Guest

    Default WE want atleast 4

    DH and I have always wanted 4 children and now that we have #1 makon we have said that we may not stop at 4
    BUT everyone is so unsupportive and says but they will miss out on soo much and what about money and blah blah.

    It really upsets me as we have both said we want a lot of children. and even his mum who had 3 says we shouldn't!
    why isit that people dont want large families to be created (especially with a slowing population) we have enough space and enough love for a football team, but all we get is negative reactions when we say WE want a large family.


  2. #2

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    elli.its crap isnt it,when we tell people that we are thinking aboiut having another it is always the same response"omg are you crazy,youve got rocks in your head"i know a couple of people with large families and i dont look down on them at all infact i think they are truley marvelous people it shows me that they are loving selfless people,i think those who dont agree with us are infact jelous because we have all that it takes to create and nurture a large family and they just cant cut it....
    nikki

  3. #3

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    Well Elli...I have 4 boys and absolutely love every minute of it and don't care what others think..I would have another tomorrow if DH didn't have the snip..after 3 m/c he said enough was enough...so you go girl and don't let anyone get you down!! Funnily enough DH is fro family of 7 but have not been very supportive of us having 4..all his brothers and sisters only have 3 and think we should have done the same!!! Go figure!!!
    Jan xx

  4. #4

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    Yeah, look people will judge no matter what. People commented that we were mad to have more after the twins, but people also comment on those who choose to only have one child ( wont it be selfish, lonely etc)
    I get constant comments about the havent you got you hands full, and I say nope but my arms and heart are.
    Tell everyone to butt out, and you will live your own lives, and you suggest they do the same.

  5. #5

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    Hi Everyone, Ive got 4 boys and 2 girls and am 19 weeks pg with no.7 - yaaayyyy! DH and I were saying today that this might not be our last :shock: !!
    I'm 31 and love always having a baby in the house! I just tell me family that if they are not happy, I dont want to hear about it

  6. #6
    Ellibam Guest

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    thanks girls
    sometimes i think i just need reminding that i can do it!!!
    Rayla your a women from my own! iwould love 7 or 8!! wow

    you all are marvelous women!!

  7. #7

    Default

    I am definately proud of you girls(esp Rayla!!)but am also jealous as nicole said..but not because i can't or don't want to have a large family, but because my husband is absoluteky against it..he is adamant he's having the snip after #2..he bases this decision on financial reasons(saying he wants to buy everything for our kids)which i can understand his point of view, but i see the benefits of having a large family are way more influential than material objects..he loves babies and kids and always makes the comment that if we won lotto we'd just have heaps of them (11-a soccer team)but we'd always said this until now we have owen and he's changed his tune..very difficult..
    sorry for hijacking your thread..just wanted to say that i'm jealous but also so proud of you to bring as many babies as you are blessed with into such loving families!!

  8. #8

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    This is probably the main reason why we won't tell anyone we want a large family. Both DF and i are only children, so would like a big family as our kids won't have any cousins, aunts or uncles. We want 4 or 5, but if i can help it, it'll be more lol.

  9. #9

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    i would love a minimum of 4 too. Unfortunately this may not happen as we are still yet to conceive number one

    dh has said he will "see" after 2 --- i will have to do some serious persuasion once we learn to conceive! lol

  10. #10

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    I say you go for it Elli!
    I have four gorgeous children. After our first was born I always knew I would have at least 1 more but I found mothering my first daughter quite difficult. I am a nurse - I like order and she came with a whirl of things that I couldn't make order out of!!! I went back to work when she was 12 months old and my dh stayed home.

    When we had ds 5 years later it was a completely different experience. Maybe age and a learned ability to embrace life a bit more made it a much much more positive experience. It unleashed the Madonna in me and I don't ever wanna stop!!! I love everything about being a mother. I am a SAHM now and I love it. I do some work for a uni from home and even that I resent at times. Mothering a big family has amazing rewards and precious lessons!

    We have lost 3 precious souls on our quest to make our family bigger. So many people have told us we're mad: "Big families do without so much". "Don't you want to do things for yourself"? Yet some of those very same people comment at the fun that is in our house and how beaufully they play together. Large families are truly an absolute blessing. People (including the big people) in big families learn acceptance of different personalities, they learn to show love and kindness to a sick sibling, they learn to negotiate. They learn tolerance.

    Yep, it's true I can't imagine us boarding a Qantas flight to London any time soon but boy do we have a ball at a beach house for a week or for a week in a city. We don't do without anything much I don't think, but feeling those soft hands on my face or the giggles as they chase each other around the paddock. I am blessed beyond words!!!
    I think bigger families need a popularity boost and I am the woman for the job!!!

    People have made some pretty hurtful comments about why we would keep trying for number 5. I am gonna keep on going though!!

    You keep going too Elli if that is what you want. I guarantee you won't regret it.
    I remember when I was pregnant with DD #3 - an old lady asked me how many kids I had and how many I wanted. I told her I wanted 6. She looked at me with a real sadness in her eyes and told me she had wanted 6 too but only had 4. She said "keep going dear until you get your 6th because you can never ever go back and do it". I will always remember those words. How true they are!

    Big Hugs


  11. #11

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    DH always joked we would have 12 but we are hoping to stick to having 4.
    If we are told no more after having #3 then that will be it but i would like 4.

    Someone reminded me the other day that i will have 3 kids under then age of 4 but that doesn't bother me at all.

    I love being pg and i love having the kids around.

  12. #12

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    Flowerchild, I love you, LOL.
    You put that point across so beautifully. That was really lovely to read. I agree about the material things as well. My kids dont miss out. We go to QLD every year and have a nice holiday. We stay at the beach and at my fathers farm. I am very lucky to have such supportive people around me. They play sport and have everything that other kids have - I make sure of it. They also have a fantastic support network in each other which I hope will continue through their lives. They all pitch in to teach my autistic daughter to talk and I love hearing them do that.

  13. #13
    Kirsty77 Guest

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    Oh Ellissa....bugger your family...go for it!We cope a lot of bad advice from my family to.COrey and I would LOVE to ahve 4 but my mum and dad totally freaked out saying money money money!!Argh!!Wish they;'d just realise that I'm a grown women and not on her apron strings anymore!ROFL!!

  14. #14

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    All my life all I really ever wanted was a big and close family. Tonnes of people always in the house, lots of noise and activity, running from one thing to the next, things getting totally crazy - this completely appeals to me!! I never had that but DH and I would love to have 6 children if we could. Unfortunately that has so far been very elusive. If you can, and you want to, then forget what anyone else says and you go for it and have yourself that big happy family.

  15. #15

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    I know my next preg will be my last (well with DH hee hee)...
    I'd love 6 or more too, but my DH says 2 is enough, I ahve convinced him to try for #3... I wonder if I can get some fertility hormones to have triplets!!!??? hee hee

    Flowerchild, I keep telling DH, we can always find money & take holidays, buy material crap etc... but cant turn back time to have anymore babies!!!!

    I am envious, keep going til you are complete!!!

  16. #16

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    I want to be a mum to 5! Especially now with Shay living away from us and Ariani talking about moving out in a couple of years, I'm going through the empty nest thing at 36! Lol!

    Actually I thought having Charlie would put me off having any more, with having to go through nappies and sleepless nights and teenage-hood again, but you know what? I love having a baby in the house again, and would love another. I'm still young enough surely?

    But DH says IVF is too expensive, esp for us, who have crap luck in that dept! And it's true, I don't think I could go 8 cycles again like I did to have Charlie. But maybe 1 or 2 goes? I'm working on him to give it a go!

  17. #17

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    I agree with the old lady, you will regret not doing it, but I don't think you will regret having them. I always wanted 4 and convinced Dh to go for no.4. We are so glad we did. While we have decided that 4 is our limi, if I accidently fell pg I wouldn't care. My kids don't get everything they wnat but they get everything they need and thats more important And they have grandparents who spoil them. My house is noisy and constanty being messed up but if that is the worst thing that could happen then that id ok!
    Don't listen to people who tell you what you shoudl do, they don't have to live with youand your kids, and really it doesn't effect them Sometimes people just say things to say something IYKWIM. Like to hear their own voice LOL
    hugs michelle

  18. #18

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    forgot to plug in for the notifications so have to message again lol

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