I haven't read any posts after the first page in this thread, but all I am going to say about this is when you have older children who get invited to partys at what seems like every second week, you will be BEGGING for someone to have a combined party - last year my DD had 4 parties in two weeks. Even when it was her own birthday there were 2 others in her year that had parties that same weekend (which she didn't attend 1 and wasn't invited to the other). It is excessive in the extreme. It's not easy when you have a child who just wants to have a party like all their friends have been having parties and throw this conumdrum into the mix - what are you supposed to do if there are several children in a year group who all have a birthday in the same week? Makes sense to me to get together and combine them so you don't have the issue where half the invitees can't go because they are going to another party.

As for the taking of food, is it really that big a deal? Not everyone is a Nobel Laureate who can word something like that without coming across as being stingy.