Quick bit of background. DP and I have a couple of mutual friends, a married couple. We'll call them A (husband) and B (wife). DP and I both worked with A for several years, until B reached out to befriend me for whatever reason. (yay!)

So the four of us have been fairly close over the last 12 months, especially during my pregnancy. Once DS was born, things got a bit more difficult, and we haven't been able to be as social as we once were. We used to either have dinner, lunch, or some form of gathering with our friends weekly. They're DINKs (double income, no kids) and of course we're... um the other one. With kids, and no money lol.

Our friends have always been very generous, buying us gifts, having us over for dinner constantly, knowing I couldn't return the favour with a baby underfoot. I've explained to them multiple times that I feel awful accepting such generosity, and not being able to reciprocate, but they've always said it's totally fine.

And now the current issue:
A and B invited us to spend a night at the casino (they had a spare booking for whatever reason) for free. I was reluctant, as I knew it'd be expensive for them, and kind of wasted on us since DS would have to come with us.... and would've most likely made it difficult to do anything except sit in our room. Still, they insisted it'd be fine, so we agreed. We heard nothing more about it leading up to the night, so thought they'd changed their minds, or found someone who would be able to enjoy it fully to go instead. That was a-ok with me! We didn't want to be rude, and call them asking about our free night at the casino. I mean.... rude, much? So we let it slide.

Fast forward to the day of the 'outing'. At about 5pm, the phone starts to ring. And ring, and ring. We were in the middle of a massive baby scream-fest, and were both tired and completely over it. We often dont' answer our mobiles when DS is unsettled.... for obvious reasons. Our friends know this, and that we'll call them back when we can. This time though, they kept calling, and calling........ and we remembered it was 'casino night'. Since it was so late, we knew we weren't going to be able to get ready in time and go. And even if we had time, DS was in demon child mode, and would've spoiled the night for everyone. I didn't want to be THAT woman. Dragging her baby from pillar to post just so that I could have a good time. (ha! good time with a screaming baby? unlikely.)

So, DP spoke to A at work the next day. Apparently, it was rude of us not to bend over backwards to accept their invite for free accomodation. I was blown away! A was carrying on, saying B was really upset with us, and that it 'could have' cost them $150 for a wasted room. It didn't. There were plenty of other people willing to take them up on the offer, who didn't have crying babies to contend with. They took another couple of friends instead.

So these are my issues.
1. since they found someone else to take the room, what's the big deal?
2. I find it really frustrating when people who DON'T have kids apply pressure for us to do the things we used to do before DS came along.
3. They expected us to pack up DS and ourselves and be there within the hour. Not possible without knowing earlier in the day that they still wanted us to go.
4. B is always saying narky things to A, expecting him to pass on the message via DP to me. She complains that I'm flaky, and never answer my phone.
5. They don't understand how high maintenance DS is, and are always giving us lame advice on how to 'fix' the problem. I've always smiled and nodded up until now, because I love them and know they're only trying to help.

Am I wrong to be annoyed that they're annoyed? I mean, nobody lost any money....... they had a great time.. what's the problem? I'm p***** that people who are meant to be our friends just don't get that we're a FAMILY now, and DS has to come first. I think they feel like we've distanced ourselves, when really..... we just don't have the time we used to have. It seems like they expect everything to be the same, and that we'll just take DS along. But it just isn't that simple! Anyway, I'm getting tired of B making comments behind my back (but knowing I'll get the message) and making me feel like a bad friend just because I have other responsibilities. I'm tired of feeling guilty because they give so much when I have nothing to give.

So, to summarize...... I'm annoyed because our 'friends' don't understand that applying pressure for us to socialize doesn't help! I'm annoyed because B didn't speak to me directly about this, and instead got her husband to tell DP she's upset with me. She knows she can talk to me honestly about anything. I'm annoyed because they didn't give us adequate notice to be able to even get there, if we wanted to! How is it ok to expect someone to accomplish the impossible, and then get mad when they can't do it? I feel like A and B are almost jealous of DS, because he gets all of our attention and we rarely see them anymore. Ridiculous!

My question is this. Am I overreacting? I haven't bothered to contact B since all this happened.... I'm just too annoyed. I don't know what to say. And I don't think I should have to apologise for NOT accepting a freebie. I know they would expect an apology. So, I'm thinking I don't need friends like this. It makes me so sad, because we were so close..... and they were so good to us in the past. But, as I suspected it's come back to bite me in the a**. As always, nothing is ever given out of the goodness of ones heart............ there's always expectations attached. I feel like the selfish, greedy friend who takes and never gives, and I don't want to feel like that. I've always been clear that I don't have as much as they do (financially) and just can't match their level of generosity. The answer was always a cool 'Don't worry about it, we love having you guys over.. etc etc'.

I think I've rambled on enough. In short- I'm sad that one of my ONLY friends is acting this way. Are they justified? Am I an ungrateful, and selfish friend?