Ok, so I catch the train regularly with some friends.

There's this other girl that previously caught the train with us. Let's call her Betty.

None of us really like Betty. One of the other girls *dislikes* Betty a lot, the rest of us fluctuate between finding her annoying, not liking her, and disliking her.

The girl who dislikes Betty is sufficiently against her that she suggested catching another train to avoid her ... and the rest of us find her distasteful enough that we agreed.

I wasn't 100% comfortable with this without letting Betty know, but as the other girls have known her a fair bit longer than me, I decided it really wasn't my place, and so I've butted out.

Every now and then, Betty texts the other girls (she doesn't have my number, and I've blocked her on FB) to see if she can meet up, or to find out what train they're catching, so she can meet up with them.

They give her various excuses, or tell her the wrong train, or tell her the first carriage and then hide until the train has pulled in and then get the last carriage, or whatever.

I find it awfully, awfully primary school, and just plain mean.

I don't have a whole heap of sympathy for Betty. She's an unpleasant, racist, arrogant, sizeist, anti-working-mother, misogynistic, misinformed creedist. She has criticised "fat" women for wearing grey because "it makes everyone think of elephants, and you don't need that in the workplace". She said it was "disgusting" for me to eat cucumber on the train (despite my being unable to eat anything else, courtesy of morning sickness). She was livid that he new manager was having to step aside and allow her previous boss return from maternity leave (because "everyone knows that women won't work as hard or as long after they've had a baby). And behind my back she accused me of "brainwashing" my DSs because we pray with them and for them before bed. And she's b*tched out people who she thinks are looking at her, or anyone one who dares to sit in "our" seats on the train, which personally I find pathetic. We get on right at the start of the line, and can sit somewhere else.

I don't like her. She's really unpleasant.

But she's a human being, and I'd be a whole lot more comfortable just telling her that we don't get on, and we don't want to catch the train together any more.

It wouldn't be nice to do, but it's a whole lot more reasonable than the avoidance methods currently being utilised by the other girls ...

I said as much to one of the girls (let's call her Penny) a couple of days ago, when Betty texted her, asking outright what train and carriage she would be on, so she could make sure that she was on it too, as it's been a couple of months since she last saw us.

Ironically, Penny is the one who really doesn't like her, and it was her returning from maternity leave almost a year ago that instigated the whole "let's catch a different train and not have to see Betty any more" thing.

Penny texted me and one of the other girls to see what to say back. I said just to TELL HER that we don't want to play any more. Penny wanted to know what a nice way of saying that would be.

There is no nice way of saying it, so after a couple more texts back and forward, she asked if I minded her saying that she was catching the train with me.

That is the truth, and so no, I didn't mind. Though it begs the question of whether that will be enough to persuade Betty not to come along ... she has made no secret in the last couple of moths about not liking me.

But I suspect I am sort of being made the scapegoat, and that bothers me. In some ways, I don't really care if she doesn't like me, and if she thinks that she "can't" catch the train with us any more because of me. But in other ways, I'd rather the other girls are honest. They're the ones debating whether to defriend her on facebook, and whether to not answer her calls, and how long they can leave her texts before replying. They're the ones ducking and hiding behind the bike lockers in case Betty is on the train on another carriage and might see them.

I would just prefer to drop the act, lose the passive aggressiveness, and just be honest - we don't get along, we don't want to catch the train together, plesae don't call or text me any more.

If it was a break up, this would be so much simpler.

I have considered catching a different train myself, to not have to deal with her any more, or any of this drama. But I really like the company of the other girls, and we have a good time together, and catch up outside of the train too, sometimes for lunch, or for dinner or drinks. We have an absolute blast, we have playdates, it's really good.

In fact, it's good all of the time, other than when Betty issues come up. And the side that comes out of the other girls when that happens is *not* attractive. They turn into the mean girls at high school, or the ones who did nothing when the mean girls were doing it their thing.

Why is this happening in my thirties?

I don't have her number, and am not friends with her on Facebook. And I don't feel right telling Betty that Penny and the others don't like her. It's not really my place to do that.

So what would you do?

Any experience respectfully and cleanly severing a relationship?