Telling someone they're not welcome ... WWYD?

[Phteven]

I'm really bad at breakups so I'd probably just do the same thing as your friends and hide from her until she got the hint.

[sloane]

I'm crap at this sort of situation as well. I'm not particularly fond of confrontation so this is probably what I would do in theory but I think in reality there is a fair chance I'd just head for a different train or hope fervently that the situation resolved itself!

I would sit down with the others, or whoever you perceive the ringleader (if there is such a thing) to be & put it quite simply as you have in your post - someone needs to spell it out to Betty and do it soon.

I think Betty being such an obnoxious person is a bit beside the point - as someone else said, you need to be true to who you are & how you want to behave and stick to that. If the other girls can't work with that, then maybe catch ups outside catching the train are still ok but maybe not getting the train itself.



Good luck!

[LionsandBears]

I know the other girls are your friends. I have difficulty staying friends with people whose behaviour I dont respect. If they can't suck it up, be an adult and get on with life, then I wouldnt have a lot of time with them. I certainly wouldnt buy into the whole, how do we tell her we dont like her stuff. My response would be, "this is my advice, if you dont like my advice, dont ask me again and don't use me as an excuse".

However, I am black and white about my values, my friends and relationships in general. I am also generally anti-social, and would eventually find catching a train with the same people regularly a bit smothering, so wouldn't be in that situation anyway.

Sorry, that doesn't actually help you at all, unless you decide to just back off and tell them you're not interested in talking about Betty. If they sort it out, fine. If they dont, that's their problem. Dont make it yours.

[Ginger]

i think you should buy yourself an iPod, stick the earphones in your ears for 60 mins and not have anything to do with any of them.

[LuluHB]

I think you could say something to them along the lines of hey, I know she's awful and we don't want to spend time with her, and I know its never pleasant having any kind of confrontation, but I'm really not comfortable being used as the reason why none of you spend time with her on the train anymore. I think she deserves to be told the truth as kindly as possible now because its not a good way to treat her, and no matter how unpleasant she is, she deserves more than these silly games you're playing at her expense.

That's the nice way. TBH I'd be going more along the lines of you all need to grow the hell up. If you can't do the decent thing and grow a spine and tell her how you feel, then you're worse than she is.