Well, that's the same thing really. Both are ways of asking - "oi! What did you do with the cutlery?" I would leave it, totally leave it. It is their choice what they did with the cutlery and how they use it, and I don't believe you need to justify or explain what happens to gifts once they are given to you. That's what a gift is... something totally given to you with no strings or expectations attached .

I completely understand this and but for me there are certian people, all close family that I guess I put expectations on, just like they do me. I also know that it is not the value of the gift either that matters but for me this time it does. I would have much rather MIL say to me that she would like to change the present or return it and get something that she would have liked and wanted.