Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 19 to 25 of 25

Thread: your opinions please

  1. #19
    chubbycheeks Guest

    Default

    be sure to get your partner to look at the email before you send it so he knows exactly what you've said in case the proverbial hits the fan


  2. #20

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    N.S.W
    Posts
    503

    Default

    Good luck with it all.

  3. #21

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    In The Land Of Wonderful...
    Posts
    1,751

    Default

    Hi Cat,

    I recently got married (last Sunday actually!) - we live on the Central Coast in NSW, but had our wedding in the vineyards, just over an hour away.

    We had our wedding at one of the resorts - but didn't stay at the one the wedding was at because it was just too much money!!

    Before I sent out the invitations, I did a LOT of research about all of the accomodation in the whole area, and then rang around, asking if I recommended them to my guests would they give a discounted price...

    In the invitations I put a list in of all of the accomodation - and prices, so people could make up their own minds as to what to do. I had accomodation suggestions from $90 a night and upwards.

    We also put in suggestions to people about bus hire (about 20 of our friends hired a mini bus for the day that picked them up and drove them all home so they could drink and have a good time)... It was a lot cheaper for them to do it that way, and not miss out on anything!

    We also had the best man stay with us for all of the nights except the wedding night , simply because he flew over from the UK to be here, and just couldn't afford it... He bunked in with some of our friends the night of the wedding.

    I know its expensive - We worried a lot about people having to stay, but DH did point out that it was an hour away, so people always had the option to drive home afterwards if need be... I'm not sure if thats an option for you - maybe your DF could just go the night before and bunk in with someone to save $$$ and you go just the night of the wedding?

    I think definately speak to them - you can do it gently, they are probably so caught up with everything they're organising that they haven't considered the costs for everyone else??? (Or they have, but its just one of many things they're thinking about!)

    We had friends say that they simply could not afford it (we did a wine tour the day before for the girls, and the guys played golf) - and that was truly fine for us, we didn't expect anything from anyone, because we know what its like stretching $$$!!!

    If you bring it up gently with them, you will probably find that they'll offer to make it easier - If you don't say anything, then they'll just presume all is good.
    Even if you say 'We've got the accommodation sorted, but things are a little tight concerning the suit, etc' you might find that they'll just say they''ll take care of it???

    I'm not sure, but I know with us, we were more than happy to do what we could with everyone's individual circumstances.

    Our wedding was a champagne breakfast, too, and was pretty casual - we had a best man each (my best friend is a guy!!) - and told them they could wear whatever they liked - still had the semi formal dress code, but they had the option to wear something they already had and so the accomodation was their only outlay for money.

    We also had friends that I know stretched it financially to make it there so close after Christmas - I told them all not to worry about a gift - a few just put a card in the wishing well without the money - We only cared about the card, I couldn't care less about whether they added $$ or not.

    Just pop a card in the wishing well without the money, but don't feel the need to write anything to justify that you haven't added any cash.... Thats uncomfortable for you - and probably for them, too!!!

    They will understand, I'm sure - and if they have chosen your DF to be the best man, they are probably just more than happy that he has spent the $$ he already has to be able to do it for them and be there.

    Hope my rambling helps - I don't know your friends (!!) but I can only offer advice from the other side of things, only just going through it myself!

    Good Luck xxx

  4. #22

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Somewhere Over The Rainbow
    Posts
    3,094

    Default

    Holly, thanks, that really is great advice. Ill probably use that line "wve got the accomodation sorted, but regarding the suit money is a little tight". Good stuff.
    Unfortunaltey the wedding is about 2-3 hours away, and i dont have a licence (i just got my l's a few weeks ago) so going down seperately isnt an option.
    The most annoying thing is knowing how well off they are, and not offering to pay for the essentials for their bridal party who arent very well off has really made me think so much less of them, its made me sad!

  5. #23

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    In The Land Of Wonderful...
    Posts
    1,751

    Default

    Unfortunately I think people who are well off forget sometimes what its like to be average!
    I've been in both circumstances over the past few years, & now that I've been there, I was so careful with my wedding!

    Its definately hard - I know when DH's sister got married 2yrs ago, we were struggling financially - DH had just changed careers & was on a commission only basis for the first 12 months... right in the middle of her wedding!
    I was a bridesmaid, he was a groomsman, and our son was the pageboy - add up 2 suits, a dress, shoes x3, hair, makeup, accommodation for 3 nights in Double Bay (!!!) and just food & expenses while we were away... It nearly killed us!!
    2 weeks before all of the boys went to Qld for the bucks weekend and played golf for 3 days... We almost didn't make it $$$, took us months & months to catch up!

    The only mistake I made was that I kept saying "It's fine" when I didn't know how the hell it would be... In the end, I had to say we were struggling, and they got the 2 suits for us.

    Minimal considering the rest, but it was so appreciated by the time we got to the end of it!

    Thats why I was so careful with our wedding to make sure everyone could only do what they could afford to.

    If you let them know that things are tight, noone is uncomfortable (I know its a little hard for your pride - we were embarrassed saying that we just didn't have the money at the time, because we were always the ones previously that DID have the money)... but it brings everything back to reality.

    Their level of expectancy, too, will drop and so you shouldn't be likely to be hit with any further costs (well, here's hoping so anyway! )

    If they care about your DF enough that they want him to be the best man then the only thing they should care about is being able to have him there for the day... and none of the other material issues xxx

    Good Luck hun xxx

  6. #24

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Somewhere Over The Rainbow
    Posts
    3,094

    Default

    Thanks holly, its good to see other stories! Personally i dont really care about saying the money is tight - but he does.
    Ill let you know how it goes!

  7. #25

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    gold coast
    Posts
    1,759

    Default

    i would def say somethign to them. i have 7weeks to go with my wedding and we have paid for everythgn for the bridal party because it is dp and i making the decisions on wat we want and dont think it is fair to make the bridal party pay. i mena it is our day not theirs they wernt the ones thta made us get married so they shoudlnt have to spend money they cant afford. we cant really afford it and have been offered by the bridal party that they would pay for their own stuff but i wont let them.

    i mean i woudlnt mind paying liek 200 to 300 if i was a bridesmaid but the amount u r talkin is rediculous

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Similar Threads

  1. Opinions please...unwell or teething?
    By Janie in forum Baby & Toddler General Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: November 23rd, 2007, 07:14 AM
  2. Why all the opinions on c-sections?
    By Keira in forum Caesarean Section Discussion & Support
    Replies: 120
    Last Post: July 24th, 2007, 05:09 PM
  3. OPK - O? or not O? Opinions needed
    By SallyJ in forum OPK's, HPT's & Other Home Tests Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: April 10th, 2007, 10:25 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •