I'm sorry to hear you are having such a difficult TTC journey. My situation is similar, but not quite as challenging (37, endo, low egg reserve, signs of subclinical hypothyroidism, but no clotting disorder or blindhorn). It took us 5 transfers (5 fresh cycles plus 1 FET) to get DD. The one time we tried for a blast transfer, none of them made it - 4 were severely fragmented and the other 2 that looked okay at day 3 never progressed any further (ie arrested at day 3). Every other cycle we only had 2 or 3 decent embryos, so we did day 2 or 3 transfers. It was only at our successful transfer that we had an embryo developing on schedule (ie 4-cells at day 2), all the others were behind (ie 2-cells at day 2 or 4-cells at day 3).

When you're dealing with quality issues, it really seems to become a numbers game - you need to produce 10, 20 or more eggs just to get one good one. I honestly believe that our 5th fresh cycle we were just lucky - we managed to get one good egg fertilised with one good sperm (we also have MFI issues that mean DH's sperm are as bad as my eggs). If we hadn't been lucky, we'd have been in the same position as you - only enough money left for 1 more cycle. And, to be honest, I was pretty much burned out with IVF by that point anyway. I no longer believed it would work and the only reason we were still going was because I couldn't quit.

Choosing to end the journey is difficult. What it usually boils down to is one of two things: 1) no more money, or 2) continuing causes you more pain than stopping.

We don't have money for IVF any more, but I'm not ready to stop TTC, so we're doing IUI with injects for now. It's a lower success rate than IVF, but higher than TTC on our own and we can afford to keep doing it (ie keep playing that numbers game). I'm using FSH injects and we try to get 2-4 eggs per cycle (usually get 2). I'm also on clexane and prednisone, just in case there's another problem we haven't had diagnosed. We are also considering donor embryos, but would prefer to try with our own DNA for as long as possible.

Thanks juniper76. I appreciate the support. Saw a counsellor on Friday but couldn't talk yet. She suggested donor embryos but its not an option that DH will consider. He had previously agreed to donor ovum but only from a family member and unfortunately she declined. We have discussed adoption, fostering etc but will not be pursuing any of these. It is really now down to one more shot of IVF or no children at all.

Your return to IUI got me thinking but I'm starting to worry about how we would cope if we continued in this process. I bought a lotto ticket on the w/e and thought about if we won whether would we continue IVF (ie. is money the only factor in our stopping) and I'm torn because I want a baby so badly but all the hoping is really taking its toll now- I'm starting to think there's a reason 'hope' is a four letter word! I just resigned my position at work for a lesser one in order to reduce my stress- just in case that is effecting things- plus I just cant concentrate on anything. So much of our life is on hold for this. I know my DH wants us to stop and move on. I just don't know how to cope with letting go of something I have wanted and planned for my whole life, something that is so much a part of who I thought I was.

Everything feels so heavy at the moment. I'm hoping some of this is still the hormones working their way out of the system from the last cycle. We've decided to wait a couple of months before our final try - mainly so I can get into a better headspace. Thanks again for the support!