Kel I also think I can understand being driven and wanting to just stay in the flow with it - When I had the termination of the affected baby I wanted to start IVF immediately. My DH was absolutely against it, over the next six months I was able to pick myself up and started to get over the pain of losing the baby but he fell into a deep dpression which ultimately ended our relationship.

There would have probably been ways for both of us to work on it a better and we might have stayed together. However, he has just married and I am very happy with DP - what I want to say is that there are several options in life and they all can lead to happiness. BTW - with both of them I can understand the feeling that you already have a child on your side that your'e trying to raise

I think you can only do what you feel is right but would also support Saph in the way that if you're not already talking to a counsellor it would be a good idea to do so and talk to someone independent, while family and friends can give good support a counsellor might be better qualified to help you make the right decision. Consider taking at least a short break (even a weekend away in a health resort might help) before making a decision, I dearly hope you will find peace and make the right decison for yourself - very happy to talk further via PM if you like.

AFM - AF arrived this morning, it's okay as I just want to get it done and over with - just talked to the clinic counsellor which was of some help but I think I will need a little time to get over the disappointment, thinking of going away the weekend after next to a health resort to get back to basics so to speak. Thank you very much for your support over this cycle, it was very helpful - wouldn't been able to get through this otherwise.

Sara