Kel - Men are truly from another planet and i totally understand the issues you are having. Have been and still am travelling a similar journey with my DH. Mine never comes to appts, knows what drugs i'm on etc. Just turns up to deliver his "sample"... thats it! I do however, think that men feel a bit helpless with it all. They can't take the needles, BTs etc for you. That is a burden that cannot be shared. I don't think its within the male makeup to realise they don't have to actually DO anything to be of help. Just coming with us or "being there" emotionally for support would be enough for most of us but men are 'fixers". if they can't fix it then they feel they can't do anything.
We are also driven by the hormones both natural and introduced... it DOES mess with your brain and I think leads to TTC as an obsession. I would certainly admit that I have become obsessed by the whole thing. Nothing much else in life interests me that much and it drives my DH crazy because he doesn't feel the same way. I am not sure any man can.
I agree with the otheres that you need to give yourself a touch of breathing space just to sort through things when you are not so "raw" from a failed cycle. I do think doing it all solo would be very tough, no matter how unsupportive DH might be. You also don't want to be 5yrs down the track, possibly with a child but regretting that your marriage is over and maybe could have been saved.
Wait until DH is home so you can talk face to face and maybe you can both come to a compromise. I do think he needs to realise the hope that could come with using donor eggs/emryos. At east with eggs, he can still be the child's biological father and you still get to carry and birth the child.... which to me personally,is the most major aspect of becoming a "mother". My sister has a donor egg child and he is totally and utterly "hers". She carried him, birthed him, breastfed him etc etc. None of us percieve it any other way. You have obviously come to peace with this idea. I do think he should be able to to.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling but i really do get where you are at. I love my DH but there have been plenty of times I've resented him immensely for what i percieved as lack of support.

sara - My heart goes out to you. You are sounding very brave. I must admit. I am glad you are keeping busy with planning for the future. I think thats all you can do to keep yourself going and not fall in a heap. The future at least holds some hope. Even if you are undecided about changing clinic/Dr's, maybe at least go have appt with someone else to hear another perspective. Julie heard far different treatment approach from a new FS . Not all Dr's are the same and you need to know you are trying EVERYTHING to achieve your dream

Lulu - sending you big hugs to. I don't honestly know how you keep picking yourself up again. An amazing person you are!