17 eggs but only 5 embies

[briggsy's girl]

hi hun

so sorry to hear you didn't get great fert results. just a couple of things to keep in mind - some of those eggs may not have been mature enough to fertilise - unfortunately, the eggs mature at different rates as you are stimmed so some won't be ready to fertilise. our clinic said a strike rate of 40-75% is normal for fertilisation of mature eggs...

for me, i got 22 eggs - 11 immature, 5 of the 11 mature eggs fertilised

you never know the quality of your embies til you grow them up - if you're concenrned about not making it to blastie, can you ask for a day 3 transfer instead?

and if you're in the very unfortunate situation of not making it to blast, remember EVERY cycle is a new cycle - there are other protocols that may help you to get better eggs - don't give up hope yet!

[collo04]

Thanks BG Im pretty emotional abouit everything ATM Dad was put in hospital My Mum doesnt want to talk about IVF as she thinks its not natrual and thinks that there are some thing you shouldnt talk about. I love saying Vagina around her she goes red and changes the subject. I want to talk to DH but his attitude is " she'll be right mate" and plus his patience is pretty thin since hes on night shift and had a grand total of 10 hours sleep in 4 days. I just want my mum to care enough. I had egg pick up yesterday I feely crappy and all she can say "is it really worth it" I just want my mum to be a mum not an accquaintence .

[butterfly_warrior]

Nik, :hugs: there are so many of us going through the struggles of IVF with the burden of an unsupportive family at the same time. It's never easy, but that makes it so much worse. The supports that other people can rely on just aren't there for us.

My heart aches for you right now. For the not-great fertilisation results, for the family that aren't there for you when you need them, and for the fact that I just don't have the words to make any of this better. I don't have the power to change the situation we are stuck in, but if I did, I would. In a heartbeat.

Hang in there... not much longer now.

BW

[Loula]

Im am to sorry that you are feeling so distant and alone at the moment hun

I know this was not the result you were hoping for and i hope your news gets better.

Im here if you want to talk.

i wish i could help you more. sending you all the best thought for a successful TF in a few days

xx

[briggsy's girl]

sounds like everything is crowding in on you a bit. as BW said, going through this without the support that so many take for granted just makes it all the harder - but you have something that a lot of people DON'T have - you have us - any time! we're here for questions, answers, cyber hugs - and more than anything - we're here just to be here - to offer you all the support you need!

I'm sure DH is there for you, it's just damn hard on them when they're tired, and trying to find that balance between support, and getting on top of the rat race and catching up on sleep (can you tell i speak from experience!) - i too HATE the "she'll be right" attitude - and after a number of lengthy discussions DH has admitted that he doesn't know what else to say - he can see i'm hurting, and wants to fix it - it's not a shrug off, it's just the only words that come to mind - i'm guessing your DH will be much the same!

hoping that things with your parents improve (well, for all of us really), that you get a great blastie result, and that transfer is smooth for you in a few days

ad always keep in the back of your mind - you don't need high quantity of embies - you only need one good quality one

hugs

BG

[collo04]

You guys are the best I love knowing that I can turn to bellybelly in times of need it really does keep me from committing myself to the looney bin... Im going to keep posoitive until im told otherwise. Thanks for all your words of wisdom and support. Now for the painful waiting for the phone call.....

[Chez67]

Hi collo

Just wanted to add my words of support for you. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself - you had a great number of eggs and that puts you ahead of the game to begin with... and as everyone else has said, it only takes one embie and you have 5 at the moment, so that is also great. I think too often we put high expectations on ourselves and feel that we have some control over the outcome of number and quality of eggs, when really we have very little. This is the part that frustrates me the most, and I am pretty sure I am not alone there. So I guess I just wanted to say, don't give up, the race is still running, and you are in my thoughts and prayers that your little embies are growing strongly and are looking forward to transfer day as much as you are!

And about your mum, I completely understand. I gave up having a mother-daughter relationship with my mum many years ago. I have tried, unsuccessfully, many times and sometimes she will completely surprise me (in a good way) with some of the things she says and does, but there is absolutely no way in the world could I tell her about IVF. She just wouldn't understand and I would end up being lectured about how it is all my fault because I left it for so long blah blah blah... which wouldn't help me at all and would end up being another cause of stress just when I didn't need it. My suggestion would be to not mention the topic again... if she truly loved you as a daughter she should be there to support you with any health decisions you make, not to judge you. So instead WE are all HERE to support you in any way that we can even if it is via a computer. Thank god for BB and the lovely ladies otherwise I don't think I would have survived the last 12 months on my own!

And BG is right about your DH... mine says the same stuff, not because he doesn't care, but because men can see we are hurting and they want to fix it but they can't, which frustrates them too, so they have to believe that everything will be all right. It is the only way they can get through this.

Take care of yourself, rest up and I hope your Dad's better soon,
xxx