Racey,

I'm really sorry to hear your news, and how that must be affecting you :hugs:

Please try not to blame yourself. Because something has happened that is out of your control, you are thinking "What can I/the clinic do, What did I/the clinic do wrong? How do I/the clinic fix it?" because inside you want to be back in control of the situation so it doesn't affect you like it is. There was nothing you did or didn't do wrong or that you could have done better, or could have done more. This applies to the clinic too. People (humans) are very ineffectual at procreating at the best of time (from a scientific, medical point of view), let alone when fertility becomes an issue. And there are so many things that can happen that doctors simply don't have an explanation for - it's just nature. It doesn't give answer, so it isn't comforting in the slightest, which is horrible, but it is nature.

Write a list of questions to ask your clinic before you call them, so you feel prepared mentally to find out everything you need to know. And be assured that they will tell you everything they know, everything that may have affected this cycle, but that they may not have an answer. But they will certainly give you advice about the next step.

I would think about asking them whether ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) might be an option (I'm assuming you didn't do ICSI this time) and whether they saw any abnormalities on the day with your eggs or your sperm, aside from seeing that your eggs were mature.

It's stupidly hard, I can imagine when the cycle goes pear-shaped, hun. You need to find things that will comfort you. For me, that has been receiving as much information as I could from my FS, and asking lots of questions - anything that popped into my head I wrote down before I saw her after my BFN. And after that, it was the thought of moving forward and finding some hope for the next step.

I will be thinking of you lots, and sending you hugs,

Miss C