When my DH first found out he didn't have good sperm I was quite conscious of how he may be feeling. I strongly enforced to him that our problem was not his alone and I was just glad that we had something to work on. To me finding the 'fault' is not about pointing the finger but finding out where to focus our energy on improving.
As BG and Bub4me have said I would strongly urge you both to go to the first appointment so you can both ask questions and learn about the process together.
I have managed my ultrasounds and blood tests by myself and TBH, in our clinc anyway, it is not the norm to see a partner accompany someone for these tests - although partners are welcomed when they are there. It depends on what both you and DH are comfortable with, what you both want and what fits into your lifestyle or work commitments.
The feelings of 'wasted time' is quite normal. When I think back to years ago when I was on the pill because 'we weren't ready' really frustrates me now. To a degree I feel a little stupid considering now we need assistance - not that we were to know then.
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