Any ideas on what we are doing wrong?

[farmgirl77]

Hello all,
Just looking for some advice on our next step. I know that we are only a short way down the IVF path, but I just dont know what we should be thinking.

We are doing IVF due to issues. Both DH and I are healthy, relatively young, and appart from long(ish) cycles and spotting (which I've been given progesterone for), we dont have any other (known) probs.

We have had 3 transfers (with good quality embies) - 1 fresh and 2 thaw with no success - BFN for each. Not even a glips of a pregnancy! I know that with IVF the stats are never in our favour, but I'm just wondering what is going wrong. It is feeling like this will never work for us

Should we be worried, is this normal, could I have implantation issues and how do I find out? These are just some of the things racing through my head.

Has anyone any advice about what our next steps should be?

Thanks
FG

[butterfly_warrior]

Farmgirl, I don't think it's anything you are doing wrong. I think it just comes down to the fact that IVF sucks, and while it will work for some, others find ourselves going through several stim cycles before they find one that works. If you have a gut feeling that something else may be wrong, it would be worthwhile talking to your FS about what further testing can be done, or what else can be done differently in order to get a different result next time.

Hang in there...

BW

[Lily Dust]

Hi Farmgirl

As everyone says it does take longer for some then others to finally achieve their dreams but bet you feel like you are totally hitting your head against a brick wall right about now!
Im probably not much help but my nurse says that sometimes it just takes a little longer to find the right little treasure. Doesnt seem like much of a consolation but its certainly one way to look at it.
You are not doing anything wrong at all, it takes courage, hope and strength to embark on that awful IVF journey and you must have all of that to have come this far.
I absoloutely understand your feelings that it will never work for you, I certainly feel that way a lot more than I would like!
I too have wondered about the implantation issues and tried to discuss with my FS and he pretty much laughed me down. Needless to say I was not a happy girl! I felt it could be the only answer as everything was 'perfect' as I keep getting told.
I dont really have any answers but I hope this helps a little.
Hang in there darlin'. I dearly hope you get everything you dream of really soon

[anney]

No need to worry yet Farmgirl. the doctors say it can just be a numbers game. My sister started IVF when she was 37. they needed it as her dh had a vasectomy. she was told she was "perfect". It took them 3 stim cycles and 7 transfers and she is now 40 and due to have her baby in 4 weeks. hopefully your number will come up next time.

[slyder]

FG, we're in the same boat basically, sperm (morphology) issues, 1 fresh t/f, 3 frozen t/f and no hint of pregnancy. Our embies have been great with Day 5-6 hatching blasties and 95% cell survival after thaw. DW is apparently normal. Buggered if I know. Our FS says to just keep going for now and see what happens. So it's back to square one, cycle two!

[Bindy]

Hi FG,

You are not doing anything wrong - I am certainly not a doctor, but there are good things installed for you. Hang in there and don't give up, we are all thinking of you.

[farmgirl77]

Thanks everyone for your positive thoughts - I need them at the moment. After the first two transfers I always bounced back and was able to think 'next time' etc etc, but I'm just not getting that this time. All I can think of is those little embies that were alive that died after they were put inside me - I know thats not rational, but it is how I feel. I cant see how the next time is going to be any different from the last...

[slyder]

Thanks everyone for your positive thoughts - I need them at the moment. After the first two transfers I always bounced back and was able to think 'next time' etc etc, but I'm just not getting that this time. All I can think of is those little embies that were alive that died after they were put inside me - I know thats not rational, but it is how I feel. I cant see how the next time is going to be any different from the last...

It's like you are reading my mind. We're in the same place.

[farmgirl77]

It's like you are reading my mind. We're in the same place.

I'm sorry that you are feeling like this as well - it is not a fun place to be and I dont wish this on anyone!

Making things worse for me is just the lack of understanding of what DH and I are going through. Emotionally, I'm feeling like we have suffered 3 MC - in less than 5 months! And yet we get no allowances/understanding from family or people at work (who know we are doing IVF) for what we are going through - this just increases the lonelyness of this journey.

I hope that things work out for you and your DW on the second cycle :goodluck2:

[visitor10]

Hey Slyder, long time no chat my friend!

How are you doing Farmgirl?

I'm basically in exactly the same boat as you. TTC since Feb 05 mainly due to issues also. Have been through 1 stim cycle & 2 FET cycles which have all been BFNs. We are starting a new FET cycle straight away so this will be #4. I was lucky enough to get 10 frosties after my first stim cycle but I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get a BFP out of any of them. Very disheartening (and scarey might I add)!

Hope my story helps you in some small way to let you know that there are ppl out there in your EXACT situation and can understand EXACTLY what you are going through!

Ciao for now hun!

[dusty]

Making things worse for me is just the lack of understanding of what DH and I are going through. Emotionally, I'm feeling like we have suffered 3 MC - in less than 5 months! And yet we get no allowances/understanding from family or people at work (who know we are doing IVF) for what we are going through - this just increases the lonelyness of this journey.

FG this really resonates with me and is something I have found the hardest to deal with this whole journey. I totally understand what you are feeling

do you mind if I raise this in the LTTTC/AC Support Group (One of the new Social Groups?) for the other LTers to discuss too? I think it may be helpful. You can join in the discussion if you like - just need to send Sushee a PM.