:hugs: to you Farmgirl.

I know exactly what you mean too. I am in the same "secret IVF" boat again because of swimmer problems and male ego problems (but I would never tell him that).

I just want to curl up in a ball and rock slowly from side to side. I haven't even thought about my birthday except in terms of appointments that I have around then to get a cycle going.

So, what I am trying (slightly ineloquently) is that no, you are not unusual, and you are not alone.