How long to wait inbetween transfers

[Lucia]

Hi Guys,

How long (provided there is no medical reason to wait) do you wait inbetween transfers?

Is it normal to wait a few months or do you try each month?

I am having a real dilemma at the moment - I think I have hit the wall so to speak.

I was going to do a transfer this month and now that it is getting close, I just don't know what to do. I want to, I don't want to. It will be my fifth one and I know that is not alot as some have had many - it has been three months since my last which was another chemical pregnancy.

All I want is to be pregnant - I want to wake up tomorrow morning and I am up the duff!

I have had every test under the sun and there is nothing wrong - no medical reason for this and I am starting to wonder if I am wasting my time - if I am fighting a losing battle and I am not meant to have children.

I know I want them - I get so envious when I hear of pregnancies and see people with their children.

My SIL is at the moment and she is having bad MS and complaining about it and anytime someone says "Poor ....." I just think **** I would do anything to have MS and I would love every minute of it because it means I am PREGNANT! And I get angry that she is so ungrateful that she got pregnant so easily and is now complaining about it! I know that is my stuff not hers but God!

I know it is what I want, it is not that at all but I just don't get why and it is like waking from a bad dream that maybe it is just not meant to be, I am never going to experience children of my own and I feel so sad all the time about it. I just don't know what to do.

And it is not even like, wait til tomorrow you will feel better - it is just this nagging - "Give Up, you are never gong to be a mother".

And I don't want to hear it.

[briggsy's girl]

i think you should only go into an FET if you're ready emotionally hun - BUT, don't let fear of failure be the factor stopping you from moving ahead. in all honesty, if you let that fear rule you, you will never be ready to go to another transfer - and you'll never achieve that dream cos you've let fear win. if you're having trouble dealing with your own thoughts/feelings, give the counsellors linked to your clinic a call - talk it through with them - there might be more to your underlying thoughts than you're aware of, and talking it out may make it easier for you to move forward. carrying negativity into a cycle isn't going to put you int he right headspace to deal with it all

[Lucia]

Thanks Guys. That is one of the things I am trying to work out if it is fear that is making me fell like this. I am scared not doubt about that. But you know what its like - I am so cuaght up in the I am getting older - time is running out - I am going to be 100 when the kid is 5 and I wonder if this is what is pushing me to do and I am doing it too soon.

I am not looking foward to getting my period next week because its like D day - I am really confused.

[runnermum]

I know exactly how you feel, we all have times when we think 'why bother' and feel so negative.

But i agree, don't let fear guide you - this next transfer could well be THE ONE!!

I am thinking of you..

[lil_chookie]

I have just waited 3 months between cycles and I am so happy I did. I feel so much stronger emotionally & physically and I know if I had done back to back cycles I would not have felt like this.

Good Luck

[Lucia]

Well, I have decided to wait one more month before I try again. I am still questioning the whole thing and I think I need more time. So it will be four months but better four months than going into it the way I am feeling right now which is I am not ever going to be a mother or feel what it is like.

And its like a weight has been lifted. All the others times no matter how long I waited I always knew I was going back and always spent that time preparing - but this time was different = this time was such a feeling of there is no point even trying.

Hopefully over the next month I can build myself and my confidence back up and be ready to try again!