Well, I have decided to wait one more month before I try again. I am still questioning the whole thing and I think I need more time. So it will be four months but better four months than going into it the way I am feeling right now which is I am not ever going to be a mother or feel what it is like.

And its like a weight has been lifted. All the others times no matter how long I waited I always knew I was going back and always spent that time preparing - but this time was different = this time was such a feeling of there is no point even trying.

Hopefully over the next month I can build myself and my confidence back up and be ready to try again!