Thanks Guys. That is one of the things I am trying to work out if it is fear that is making me fell like this. I am scared not doubt about that. But you know what its like - I am so cuaght up in the I am getting older - time is running out - I am going to be 100 when the kid is 5 and I wonder if this is what is pushing me to do and I am doing it too soon.

I am not looking foward to getting my period next week because its like D day - I am really confused.