Big Heart Healing!
That sounds so hard. I really feel for you. That's really sad about you and your partner. But if you know it's not right ... well, I guess you know. And better to make the tough decision now that not be honest with yourself and make matters worse later on ...
As for having a baby, as Tellytubby said, there are loads of incredible women on these forums who have gone to great lengths and never given up on this dream, and also achieved it. I think you might need some time to grieve and then, when you're ready, you might want to start taking steps towards having your child anyway. I mean, even as a single mum, if that's what feels right. I know that can seem overwhelming. And it's probably not even how things will turn out you know?
But do not give up ...
WW