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Thread: I just need to talk

  1. #1

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    Default I just need to talk

    Hey ladie's

    So sorry its been awhile since i have made a post, but i have been in and out seeing how you are all going the whole time.

    Since i posted last alot has happend, we moved town had another failed attempt of clomid/pregnyl, i got divorced, my partner now works away for 7 days and come's home for 7 days and my beautiful little girl started prep 2 weeks ago and i honestly can say i feel horrible, it feels like i am living on my own i miss my parnter terribly i go to bed crying and i wake up at like 3 in the morning just crying cos i miss him so much, when i wake up in the morning my eye's are that swollen from me crying all night. my little girl cry's for him as they are very close, the hardest day was chloe's first day of school she asked nathan why wasnt he coming home to take her to school, that just broke my heart Nathan felt horrible as well and he was going to take the day off work and travel nearly 5 hrs to come home and take her but we just cant afford it, which leads me to my next subject, i can honestly say that we wont be able to afford to do IVF for at least 2/3 yrs as we are so so so struggling just to pay our everyday bills and that breaks my heart as well, i dont want to wait i have been trying for baby number 2 for nearly 4 yrs now and we finally get the chance to do IVF and we cant afford it, for the last month i have cried that much about this but i dont want to complain to nathan about it as he is working so hard as it is, trying to keep our head above water i dont want to make him feel terrible about not being able to afford IVF, as it is he feels horrible cos of his low sperm count, motility and abnomalitiy, he blames himself for not being able to give me a baby, but i remind him that we both have problems ( haha we are a good match)



    I am sorry that i am rambling on i am just so lonely and sad i have no one to talk to about this ( they wouldnt understand the desperation of wanting another child in which you have been through the test of times trying to concieve) just knowing that it could be 2/3 yrs before i can do IVF is just so frusturating
    Thanks so much for allowing me to vent and cry ( again) i wish you could lose weight through crying cos god damn i would be skinny by now hahahah

  2. #2

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    Awwww hugs Penny. I wish i could do something for you. I just wanted to say i hope you get the miracle that you and your DP deserve.
    Thinking of you...
    Jenni

  3. #3

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    Penny. You sound like an incredibly strong woman to be dealing with everything that you have been going though, all that while doing the hardest job in the world - being someone's mummy!
    All I can suggest is that you visit in here while TTC. You will find a wealth of information and support from girls going through similar experiences. And we all need to vent now and then.
    Another option you could try is to give TTC a break for awhile and focus on yourself. You need to keep yourself healthy and strong, for yourself, your family and a future pregnancy. Everyone in here would miss you, but taking a break from BB and the all-consuming task of TTC might be what you need. Do you have something else to focus on for yourself - a hobby or something? And eat healthy. You might find that when you are healthy and strong (emotionally as well as physically), another LO might decide to join you.
    Take care.

  4. #4

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    Penny my heart goes out to you. You are such a strong, magnificient woman to survive all of this. I'm so sorry you can't pursue your dreams due to financial constraints at the moment. And it would be incredibly difficult to be without your partner 7 days out of 14. All I can say is the old adage 'this too shall pass' ie bad things will always move on. I hope that things change quickly for you.

  5. #5

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    :hugs: matey. Hope things start looking up for you really soon. Know you can come in and vent here any time you need.

    am just wondering whether you have looked into IVF through the public system - might be worth investigating...?

  6. #6

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    Hey

    Thank you all soooooo much for your beutiful words, your all so caring and loving

    scorpiomum- your just the sweetest, thank you for your kind words and for thinking of us

    LG- thank you for caring, i totally agree with what you say with eating healthy and stuff, i am currently on weight watchers and i find that i can handle alot more things in my life now then before, i feel alot stronger and much healthier physically and emotionally, and as far as taking a break away from it all, a suppose in away i really have no choice cos our next step is IVF and i cant affford that so i have no choice but to wait hahah bugger, mind you my body might be having a break from all the drugs and stuff but the mind just never stops, i am always looking for my "O" signs and trying to bd at the right times just hoping that we might get lucky, and the hurt and pain is there every month when i see my af arrive, as it would be the same for every woman on this site.
    I had a job interview last week so hopefully i will get it and that will make the wait go faster, thank you LG for your great post it made me do alot of thinking and everything you said is so true,. thanks again.

    Gargy- i love your attitude and the way you look at things, i will always remeber what you have said " this to shall pass" if i can think like that i will be fine, cos i know at time's i get scared cos i cant see no light at the end of the tunnel, thanks for reminding me that this is not forever its just for now.

    Keen- You have truely made my day, my heart skipped a beat when i saw the words " PUBLIC SYSTEM" i had no idea that the public system does IVF? who would i have to call to find out about this? i am sorry i have no idea who to call or where to begin,
    thank you sooooooooooooooooooooo much for letting me know about this, i feel excited but i dont want to get to excited just incase, but thanks again keen your a darl

  7. #7

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    Hi Penny,

    Keen - what a brilliant lateral thought! Penny, I can't remember what state you are in, but I know that IVF is done through Westmead Public hospital, as I've tossed up once or twice about going there ( the only reason I haven't is that I like my FS and clinic). Maybe talk to your GP.

    HTH

    Gargy

  8. #8

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    I am in QLD? is that good or bad??????

  9. #9

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    Hi girls,
    I had a 6 year break in IVF treatment because expense and the emotional toll it takes on a couple. We have found the break to be really good (although I dont think 6 years was necessary) It made us focus on other parts of our lives like our health and relationship etc. and deliberately taking a break helped with the BD side of things too. No more thinking of it every waking moment of everyday, just enjoying life (well kind of). And now that we are coming back to it again I feel really refreshed and positive whereas before I felt drained everytime we started a new cycle. We are going through the public system and it will cost us around $3000 up front with medicare rebates of around $1000 but each cycle after that costs around $350 out of pocket I think. This is a big change from when we used to do it!!!!! We are in SA so I dont know what to tell you about Qld but the medicare side of things should be the same I reckon. Good luck with your plans!!!

  10. #10

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    Hi there
    My husband works away too and it can be lonely, I try to see friends or spend my time doing craft, making things. I try to clean the house and do all the chores so when he is home we can spend the time together. it would be so much more difficult being new to a town, maybe try to do some activities where you can meet people might help. I went sailing when i first moved here and meet heaps of friends there, sometimes it is easier said than done. This thread has helped me too as I just had a friend call me and tell me she was pregnant, she was very sensitve to my feelings as we have been TTC #1 for 17 months but it still got to me as she has only been with this man for 6 months and she was a little irresponsible. I thought I had worked thru all this stuff I was so positive and emotionally stable, I had been working on my weight and exercising looking after me and I felt great. Now I am happy for her but upset that I'm not yet pregnant.
    Reading what LG and sazzafrazz said about taking a break sounds like a good idea to me right now, i dont know if I can handle these set backs. Why do i allow someone elses news or life affect me so much?! I just needed to talk, sorry to rant and rave on your thread. I hope you find out about public IVF might be a great option. Good luck, wishing you all the best.

  11. #11

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    hey blayz,

    i know what you mean about friends or family falling pregger's, you want to be happy for them and in a way you are but you would do anything in this world to be her right now.
    I have been thinking alot about taking a break and its starting to sound like a good idea as it will give us time to save for the ivf as well as it will give us enough time to get use to nathan working away for 7 days as i dont need all this added stress and then do ivf, we want to tackle ivf with a clear head. so thanks ladies for your help in the last few days, you are all beautiful and i hope you all get your gorgeous babies soon.

    I will still be coming in here all the time, as i dont want to lose touch with any of you i will be in on a regular basis to see how many you are all getting

  12. #12
    2ndtimeround Guest

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    Hey mummy2chloe, with regards to Public System in QLD, Have you tried ringing one of the IVF Clinics near you and asking them how you go about it. I was private but had to transfer for financial reasons and my clinic told me what I had to do and completed the paperwork for me. I even got to keep my Doctor because he consults at public. My upfront costs for next cycle is $2050 for stim cycle and thats because I want to use Lucrin instead of spray. Good luck, I know how it felt when I thought I had to stop because of money. Another avenue to ask would be the Queensland AMA (Aust. Medical Assoc.)and of course your local doctor. Good Luck and don't give up the dream.....

  13. #13

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    hey 2ndtimeround,

    thanks for your post cos after i read it i rang my ivf clinic and they said that they dont do it ( the public way) haha sorry not real good with words but they had given me a number for the clinic at the gold coast apparently they do it but only once a year, so i rang them and they said that they usually do it in janurary so i have missed out on it this year, then she went on to say that they wont be doing it next year and doesnt know when they will be doing it again
    I asked if she know's of anyone else in QLD that does it and she said that there the only ivf clinic in QLD that will do it

    I havent tried ringing the queensland AMA yet, where would i find the number? would it be in the phone book??

    thanks again tracey and everyone that has posted all the information and help and kind caring words it's been great

  14. #14

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    Penny - also have a chat to your GP you might be surprised how many places might do it through public system. Thats where my friend dound out about it...

    Fingers crossed you wont need to even get to that stage though, of course

  15. #15

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    hey Keen,

    i think i might just do that ( talk to my gp) no harm in asking and hopefully he might tell me something i want to hear.

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