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Thread: IVF/ICSI Buddies?

  1. #1

    Smile IVF/ICSI Buddies?

    Hi there I NEED AN IVF/ICSI BUDDY,

    I had my day 21 Blood test today and was told to start my syranel spray today! So I thought I'd see if anyone out there was about to start their first IVF/ICSI cycle? We could really support each other!



    I actually had a really bad experience at the FS specialist today! When I went in for my BT I was talking with the nurse and said to her that the FIRST IVF cycle would be trying to work out what meds etc and how much etc and that I would understand the process as I went along. Anyway she said to me that and I QUOTE: "you'd have to be really lucky to fall pregnant on your first IVF cycle" now I know this may be true, I don't know, and I don't know the statistics but how dare she tell me that!!!! I found that really negative and inappropriate and it has taken me a long time to psych myself up for this and feel positive and she made me feel awful before Ive even begun. I told my DH as I was going to call the Dr to complain but he doesn't want me too as he thinks it will cause trouble. Am I being sensitive here???? Would you guys feel the same????

  2. #2

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    Hi Kim,
    I agree with you about the nurse!!! What a way to begin your treatment. Although I have hated hearing it cause it made me jealous, I have heard of many couples who do get pregnant on their first cycle. Why would they do it if there wasn't a chance of success? There is enough anxiety and stress with undergoing a new treatment without someone telling you there isnt much point. I dont like confrontation much myself but I would definately think of saying something to her or the clinic as it could save somone else the same upset you have had. BTW, I have had several goes at ICSI and have found all the nursing staff to be fantastic everytime so I think if you had any bad luck youv'e got it out of the way already with that nurse!
    Good luck with everything. I am coming back to ICSI after a 6year break so it will be like the first time again for me but I'm going to be starting a little while after you.
    Hope all goes well first time!!!!!!!!

  3. #3

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    i'm currently going through IUI - so can't be an IVF buddy with you - but hopefully someone will be able to keep you complany on this journey

    i just wanted to say that i find the comments from your nurse to be really really negative. all of my dealings with both my FS and his nruse have been amazingly positive - along the lines of "we really hope that this takes first time up - if it doesn't, we'll check med levels and maybe discuss moving to IVF" - there was never a suggestion that they don't think it will take - and even if they don't, why would they share it? i would seriously consider saying something - but then, i'm kinda forward when it comes to my health, so if i don't like the way something is said, i'll deal with it, no matter what. i'm aware that the chances of things happening first go aren't huge, and the nurse was great at explaining it in a way that wasn't so harsh - along the lines of "there's approximately x% chance that this will take - if you don't fall into this group, then we revisit everything...". if i were you, i'd say something - or at least ask the doc what the chances are, and when he tells you, say something like "ok, that sounds so much better than what the nurse said. she told me..."

  4. #4
    farm gal Guest

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    Hi Kim,
    You would think that if you are around people who are trying to fall pregnant that you would be more thoughtful to their feelings, there are ways of saying things so they are not as harsh, that nurse needs to keep quiet. DH and I were at a new Dr just last week and he asked what day cylcle I was up up to, I said 34..which was late for me and that we could be pregga's right now and I was all happy and positive. He then looked at the scans I had just had taken and read the results and said well that says your not pregnant. He was so blunt and could have just said sorry its not what you wanted... I felt like he didn't give a s#$t. And then he answered his mobile phone twice during our consultation...how rude!

    Anyway good luck with the IVF and don't let the bastards get you down!!

  5. #5
    Sammi Jane Guest

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    Hi Kim,

    That's terrible, I can't believe she would be so insensitive. I'm sure the other nurses will be better. Surely the bad ones are in the minority?!

    I'd love to be your buddy but I'm a bit behind you. I've still got a week & 1/2 till I start.

    Farm Gal - I wouldn't go back to that Doctor - that is so rude!!!! And I agree - don't let them get you down Kim.

  6. #6

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    HI Kim....I am onto day three of my lucrin injections (equivalent of synarel) so I would love to be your cycle buddy. No you're not being sensitive at all, they said all this to us at our first counselling session and I was kinda shocked and came away a tad down about it all but then pulled myself together and decided I AM GOING TO BE PREGNANT FROM THIS CYCLE!!! No correspondence will be entered into!! That''ll show them!! Keep your chin up and feel free to add me to your msn/skype if you want to chat...my details are in the top bit.

  7. #7

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    Thanks guys for your support I feel better now...Ive been feeling very positive lately and as you know its really hard to do at times! So the comment today automatically made me feel very negative! My DH doesnt want me to say anything because he feels it may cause issues amongst the nurses there (I suppose women talk) and he doesnt want me to feel awkward when I go in there. And I understand where he's coming from.

    Sami Jane- would love to keep in touch even if you are 1 1/2 weeks behind were still in the same boat

    MelBel- Lets keep in touch regularly we can relate all the horror (or not) to each other.I was watching The Secret on TV the other night and I found it really inspiring, and like you I have been saying to myself I AM GOING TO FALL PREGNANT. I even went onto a maternity wear sight -which I have never ever done before because I was feeling so confident. I do believe that there is a little bit of POSITIVITY that goes with a successful IVF cycle, so lets see how we go!

  8. #8

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    kim.b, you should come and join us in the LTTTC & AC thread. I'm hoping I won't be too far behind you - I see my FS again on Thursday and I'm hoping that we'll be able to start from there. We haven't been to a councelling session at the clinic yet, we haven't signed forms yet... all I know is that we need ICSI and we couldn't start 4 weeks ago because my insulin levels (associated with my PCOS) were sky high! I'm hoping we start... but I'm scared that we'll just get sent for another round of testing.

    BW

  9. #9

    Join Date
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    hi there kim.b and Sammi Jane... i just had my first appt with FS last Monday and DH and i go for blood tests, consults and litlle swimmers sample off of hubby on the 22 of this month and then back to FS on 12 march, i know that leaves a a little behind as we probably wont start drug regime etc till end of march but i would love to keep track with you guys as i am so nervous and feel like i am on my own doing this.

  10. #10

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    Thanks Sonya1!
    Here's hoping all your tests come out well...lets keep in touch

    kim

  11. #11

    Join Date
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    Default Doctors

    Hey Kim, wife & I will start our very first ISCI cycle 2 weeks from now....we're really nervous / exited / anxious / all of the above / about it.

    It really pi$$es my off the way some doctors treat patients. 12 months ago I went in for a routine check with my GP and told him I had a mild pain in the groin and that we've been trying to conceive for the last 18 months with no success. He requested a spermogram, which sent directly to the urologist. The pain turned out to be sports-related, but then -out of the blue- he told me "oh...your sperm count is not good at all. Your only option to conceive is with IVF". What the ....? Just like that?. No preparing the patient, no easing the news?. I felt terrible. There was no need to do that.

    Doctors / Nurses : Please remember there's a human being behind the x-rays / sperm count / blood analysis your holding in your hand !!.

  12. #12

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    Well said Aramis - I am very fortunate that my FS absolutely sees the human being. It's one of the reasons we're with him.

  13. #13
    Sammi Jane Guest

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    Kim.b. & sonya1 - would love to keep in touch - it really helps to know that you're not alone and to have someone you can ask anything...

    Sonya1 - don't worry - you're not on your own. Although I know how you feel, I'm nervous too. I'm trying not to think about the whole thing until I have to.

  14. #14

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    Hi Everyone,

    I dont post in the forums very often, just mainly lurk

    Anyway, DH and I are just in the middle of our first IVF Cycle and have been on Gonal F injections for 10 days, We went for a scan today and we have 6 follicles so far, I know they say there can be too many or not enough, but what is the average, does anyone know

    TIA
    Kylie

  15. #15
    SJJ Guest

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    Hiya kim.b,

    I am relatively new to the forum, but couldn't agree more with Farm Gal - don't let the bastards get you down.

    I am currently in my 2WW, after my second cycle with ICSI. The first cycle was a bit of a learning for us, because we established (after a very successful egg retrieval) that there was a problem with DH sperm which prevented anything from fertilising. The odds of this happening was about 5%. Which was bad luck from us. But otherwise we had a really great cycle, and I dare say we would have had an equally good shot at pregnancy had something actually fertilised. My sister fell pregnant first time with ICSI, so it does happen!!

    What I find infuriating most of all, is that it's hard enough to deal with our own doubts, with our own "what if's" etc, that we certainly don't need the so-called professionals doing the same. Obviously the success rates aren't 100%, but surely there is a way of communicating this keeping our very fragile emotions in mind. Who are these people??

    Anyway, after I found at initially I was infertile, I picked up this great book about coping with infertility (let me know if you want the details). Anyway, they make this really great point about one of the issues about infertility is this sense of a "lack of control": that your fertility is in the hands of the health care professionals. But it goes on to say that you should take back control wherever you can. This might mean choosing your health care provider - someone that you feel most comfortable with, being assertive, asking for privacy when you are dressing or undressing during medical exams, asking questions etc etc. It also means, speaking up when staff make inappropriate comments as in your case. I would have no problem being vocal enough to request that she refrain from comments like this, because it really is a hard enough experience without the negativity. It really has helped me take back control, and really stay sane throughout the IVF/ICSI process.

    Good luck with everything, and keep your spirits up!!

  16. #16
    Alex Guest

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    Hi Kim.B

    Don't take any notice of that wretched nurse - why is she working in the health CARE profession if she can't be understanding? In my opinion you should report her. First of all, what she said is totally untrue. Someone I know had a successful IVF cycle, her first one, and she only got one embryo. Luckily for her and her DH it implanted and now she has a healthy baby. So this talk of it not working first time round is absolute rubbish.

    From reading other people's experiences I must be really lucky as my FS, although not the most jovial of people, is incredibly knowlegable and he does explain everything clearly and is upbeat about our chances. The nurses at the clinic that I go to are all lovely and very positive. I really couldn't ask for more care or support on that front. If anyone wants to know the clinic or name of my FS just ask, I'm happy to tell you. I live in Sydney - Eastern Suburbs.

    Having just got a BFN yesterday I am feeling much more positive today - I don't know why! We only got one embryo, even though we had ICSI on the last cycle. Has anyone else ever gone straight into another full stimulated cycle, using day 1 of the AF directly after a BFN as day 1 of the new cycle IYKWIM? Or did you wait?

  17. #17

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    So sorry about your BFN Alex....sorry I can't answer your other question as we are on our first cycle so still learning.

    Took my last BCP today so hopefully a bleed on Sunday/Monday and then my scan next friday. fingers crossed.

  18. #18
    SJJ Guest

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    Hi Alex,

    Yes I did two full stimulated cycles back to back. My Dr (also very lovely!) said that they used to give you a break (a month off) in between, but they found that it really didn't make much difference to the outcome. I think over the long term, it would be nice to have a month off, just to get a break from all the needles, and nasal spray, but I spose it just comes down to whatever you are comfortable with.

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