i'm calm in writing - have had my meltdown at home, and am bound to get upset over the next couple of days, but i have to pick myself up and keep going. there's no point in me dwelling on the fact that i hate my body for the way it's behaved - isn't a particularly useful way to feel, and stewing on it isn't going to help me deal with all the other health issues i'm going through at the moment!

i think i've also had to deal with this somewhat calmly - a friend of ours lost her mum in an accident at the weekend - i think in the grander scheme of things this seems so small - we've hit another pot hole (ok, maybe a crater!) in the road to having a family, but it's not OVER - IYKWIM??

i'm not a particularly brave person - in fact, i'm something of a sook really - i've just had to accept the lot i have been handed and keep going. i don't have the emotional strength to deal with a complete emotional break ATM, so i can't afford to have one!!