Hello,
Just needed to write this and hope that someone else knows what it feels like so I know that I'm not the only strange person in the world.

It is my birthday tomorrow, and my dh cant understand that I dont want to do anything about it, and that I dont want to go out with family and friends to celerbrate - all I want to do is forget about it. We started TTC after we thought we were pg two years ago - around the time of my 29th bday - so all it represents to me is another year of trying with no success, and another year closer to being 35 and the associated hassels of TTC after 35.

Also, I hate that fact that everyone will ring me and be happy and expect me to be happy and ok, when I feel so far from that. I'm sick of trying to put on this brave face so that we dont make other people feel akward or unsure of what to do or say. I'm sick of my dh not wanting to tell people about the fact we are on IVF (and hence having to yet again pretend that all is ok) and I'm sick of beating myself up for feeling a pang of jealousy when I hear about someone elses pg - it just makes our seem that much further away.

Anyway, those are my birthday blues. I know it is pretty pitifull but I'm feeling sorry for myself.
FG

oh yeah - my dh has also forgotten that when we started TTC and I was using the OPK, he made the statement 'dont stress, you'll have a kid by the time you're 31'...yeah right