Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception - Feb 2008 #2

[saph204]

Well hi;

So excited got the call to trigger today. Knew i would as the follicle was at 19mm. Think DH is more excited then me. So now i join all those in the dreaded TWW but i am over the moon at not having to go to the clinic for scans ( lets hope ever again) It took me two hours to get to the clinic today the traffic was so bad with the storms, only just made it in time for the cut off time.

Bee - if you are not comfortable with the FS suggested course of treatment then get a second opinion. See in my case both my husband and i are against IVF and will not be going down that avenue if suggested. So if our FS had not suggested less invasive course of action we would not have begun treatment. Clomid often doesn't work for PCOS, i had one cycle then straight to puregon. It may be more your DH problem that has caused them to suggest IVF. What you need to do is ask questions so you are fully informed.

Sandi - sorry about the results keep you chin up.

Minnie - well i ended up with 25 days of puregon i look like i have some hideous disease that causes you to turn yellow with red spots.

Tigger - hope the interview went well. I dont know why i bother with cleaning it only takes five minutes for it to be a mess again.

Well hoping everyone has a great weekend.

[sandiandandrew]

Thanks to you all for your reassuring words... I will never give up!
I'm looking forward to the next time.
Good luck everyone
I will be checking in to see how you all are going hope there are some BFP's SOON!

[Bee83]

Hi Girls,
Thanks for the advice everyone, the first doctor said OI but changed to ICSI once they got DH's results. I guess the hard thing for me is i work in the IVF and ultrasound field in fact i may have even scanned some people here from Perth, i see everything about IVF the ups, downs and sometimes too much knowledge is a bad thing. We will probably try IVF when we get back from our honeymoon at the end of April...i'm just so nervous.

As for all those girls trying i send you my love and best wishes. If anyone has any technical questions i would be happy to answer them to the best of my ability.

Bee

[numa]

Hi fellow LTTTCers

This is my first post on here, although I have been reading for a long time! I'm not sure exactly how it works but I thought this thread seemed relevant and I finally feel the need to "talk" to others who may understand.

My husband and I have been TTC since July 2006, and miraculously got pregnant on the third go. However I miscarried at 6 weeks, I guess they call that a chemical pregnancy.

Since then we have tried faithfully with naturopaths, good diet, supplements and doing all the tests including sperm and lap/hyst/dye studies - all normal. Then chlomid - nothing. After a year we decided it was time to move on to IVF (I never thought that would be me!). We were meant to start in January 2008 but my father sadly passed away on Dec 30th...I was devastated. We then started in February, and 2 weeks later my grandmother (mothers side) passed away. More sadness, but we continued with our stim cycle.

Things seemed to be going well and last Wednesday they collected 19 eggs. By the next day however we found out the news that only 1 had fertilized - 10 were immature, and the other 9 "failed to bind". Our transfer date was brought forward and we were getting ready to go in on Friday when we got a call - our 1 embryo was not suitable to transfer.

We were lucky enought to speak with the embryologist who explained everything - our 1 fertilised egg was not developing normally. Despite the shock and sadness, I'm glad we were saved a pointless 2ww.

It seems our other 9 eggs and sperm didn't like each other, or couldn't communicate. It seems strange that sometimes science cannot give a more technical answer! Although the embryologist gave us a great deal of information and encouraged our questions, I still find myself wondering why our eggs and sperm don't seem to get on?? We were a case of unexplained infertility, I guess now we have found our explanation. And our "cure" (hopefully) - ICSI.

I'd love to here any comments or feedback about our situation. Its hard not to wonder if we are not "meant" to have babies and is ICSI forcing the fact. It doesn't mean I won't do it - I'm not ready to give up yet - I just have to comes to terms with our new situation.

Thanks for reading....

xo

Me 36
Husband 33

[MsPink]

Numa - welcome!! You have been going thru a really hard time you poor thing. My deepest sympathies on your Dad and Grandmother, I am sure you are heartbroken. That in itself is so hard to go thru without doing IVF as well...
I am so sorry about your failed IVF cycle - it is so hard to deal with after going thru all the needles, stress etc. My first cycle also failed. Am also sure after being told you had 19 eggs - an amazing number by the way, that none were successful, you just didnt know what to think.
I also have ICSI because as you get older your eggs get harder and makes it much more difficult for the sperm to enter on its own. With ICSI - that actually put the little swimmer into the egg so he doesnt have to break thru the wall - so to speak.
I am sure it will help you when you are ready to go for the next round.
Stay positive and dont give up...

[Acacia]

Hi numa,

Welcome to BB I'm sure you'll find everyone here very supportive and full of advice and help. They're lovely!

I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your father and your grandmother. What difficult things to go through without the additional anxiety and stress of IVF - I'm sure you are very strong person to be continuing to move forward and look to the future and what has to happen next in amongst the personal bereavement you're going through.

I'm sorry that your first cycle hasn't gone well Although I haven't been in your position my first IVF cycle wasn't hugely successful either - I had 9 eggs collected but only 2 fertilised, and the one embryo I had transfered was a BFN. We were using ICSI. I can tell you that my FS said she had learnt a lot from this first cycle, as it sounds like your FS has from yours. It seems quite cruel but the first IVF cycle is always a guessing game, and really like a trial of how your body will respond and how your eggs and embryos will fare. And then your FS will take things away from the cycle and find a better way next time.

In my second ICSI cycle I had 10 eggs collected, and 6 of them fertilised, and the one embryo I had transfered stuck for a while - I had an early chemical pregnancy - which has given us hope that we will one day achieve a successful pregnancy The problem in our first cycle was my eggs were mostly undermature, as were yours. We weren't expecting to do ICSI our first time either, however after DH gave his sample on the day, they changed and decided to do ICSI. The difference between the two cycles was that on the second cycle, my eggs were allowed to mature more during stimulation and we ended up with 6 embryos better in quality than our first two in the first cycle.

I'm telling you this to let you know that with a combination of the maturity of your eggs being better (which I'm sure your FS will be able to work on, via your stimulation meds and protocol) and ICSI, there is so much hope of you having lovely, healthy (and multiple!) embryos - ICSI makes a huge difference when there are issues with the surface of your eggs and the sperm communicating and interacting properly - the whole of that problem will be bypassed with ICSI.

It is also important to let you know that it's not uncommon to have some embryos that don't develop normally - there will always be a percentage that don't develop normally right from the start - this is just nature, and perhaps it was just unlucky that your embryo that did fertilise ok didn't go on well. Please don't beat yourself up thinking that your eggs and sperm "don't get on". With only one embryo to judge it by, you simply can't know yet about how well your eggs and sperm and thus embryos will and can get on, especially when ICSI hasn't been tried yet

I have lots and lots of hope for you, and you are never to think that you are not meant to have children. Who decides who is meant to have children and not? It's a rhetorical question and thus a rhetorical thought. You have just as much right to desire to conceive and have children in your life as a couple who can conceive naturally, and you are right - it's a matter of coming to grips with the terms of how that happens. But the fact of it happening is not something ever to question. A child that is conceived of love is conceived of love, full stop.

Please believe in yourself, numa. It is such a difficult thing to go through and to come to terms with, but you have the desire and the ability to look forward and hope, as you have said at the end of your post. And there is so much hope, despite this outcome now. So you use those things inside you to help you move forward to the next step. We all believe in you here - you'll see

Lots of luck to you, and hugs,

Miss C

[sandiandandrew]

I just finished reading the posts...
Firstly Welcome Numa,
Miss C, WOW girl what a post for Numa. I couldn't have said it any better and just wanted to tell you that your a true Gem and so supportive keep it up girl
Numa - I was reading your post and just wanted to tell you to never give up sweetie.
It's strange but I have always believed that things happen not only when you least expect them but also when you really need them.
I'm so sorry for what you have been through, you deserve not only to be happy but to be blessed with all the little babies you desire.
I have heard of the saying when there is a death you always hear of a birth.
You do deserve the miracle of a child, I actually asked myself the very same question and thought that maybe I haven't had one because I don't deserve one but you can never think like that, and it doesn't work that way because if it did then the people who don't want kids or really shouldn't have kids wouldn't end up being pregnant.
My very good friend from work she was going through some things and we stuck together and helped each other through some hard times, I think of her as a little sister as she's only 17 and I have just found out she is pregnant with TWINS and she's only 17 and been with her boyfriend for 3 months.
So please never question the unquestionable as it will do your head in babe.
I think of it this way, we are a little more prepared for it,going through everything we go through to have the little ones, I mean we have to go through so much to get pregnant and we are the one's who really appreciate it for what it is a"miracle" and don't take it for granted like so many people do.
Ivf is very scary but I find it very exciting as well, we just gota not give up and try not to focus on the bad or the impossible and know that one little embie will eventually get through
Everyone here is fantastic and were are here to listen honey.
Good luck and you have a special partner, and are lucky to have a beautiful love! Keep the posts coming were always here!

Sandi 28 & Andrew 28 together for 10 years
TTC 5 years
First IVF /ICSI feb/march 08= BFN
KEEPING ON GOING TILL THE END!!!!

[kyles68]

Hi Ladies

Firstly, thank you for all your kind words and good luck - I know have 9 sleeps before my BT - whoo hoo.

Numa - I was trying to read your post to my DH and kept choking up with tears. I just wanted to say how brave and strong you are to have kept on with your stim cycle amongst all your family grief - well done. My MIL is in intensive care unit in hospital at the moment and I know how hard it is for my DH and I to concentrate on our IVF/ICSI treatment when we are stressed about her. As far as ICSI is concerned I think Miss C covered pretty much everything I wanted to say. This is my first treatment cycle and I had only 1 egg collected, fertilised and transfered and am now in the 2WW. I would definitely recommend ICSI to you for your next cycle and wish you all the best of luck