Oh Chez...I'm so sorry hun...I know you probably don't feel like it right now but if you can write a huge list of questions for FS when he phones...otherwise you may sit there with a heap of question buzzing around in your head until your next appointment which will drive you nuts!I always ask what are they going to do differently next time and when can we start...just for starters...it kind of helps me get some sense of 'control' or that I'm part of this rather than it being 'done' to me...if that makes any sense...I'm sorry I'm rambling...I just sooooo feel for you...I've been there and it broke my heart...let yourself grieve...you don't have to be brave...cry all you want and eat all you want...I'm going out in sympathy and having junk food for lunch...for you xxxx