T-Hope & Damprye-i know that feeling it is just f#cking horrible when we try so hard for what we really want and don't seem to be able to get it my family should have been completed last year with the birth of Abbi and i should be playing happy families right now if it wasnt for DH and i carrying this bad gene i felt like i would never see those 2 lines again and now i feel like i will never have a healthy baby and the feeling of others getting pregnant when we so deserve it just makes the whole thing worse.
My DH's ex has another new boyfreind the 4th in 3 years and every time she gets a new boyfreind DH's daughter ( who is 9) comes over and say's i hope mum gets pregnant soon so i can have a brother or sister (she has no blood related other than Abbi if she were alive) and it makes my heart drop because she was so excited when i was pregnant and couldnt stop talking about it and when we lost Abbi the poor little bugger had to go to counciling at school because she didnt cope very well then she kept asking me when are you going to have another baby we had to end up telling her we are not going to have any more we have brought the 2 kittens insted we had to tell her that to protect her from getting her hopes up with something that might never happen and when she came over the other day and anounced that her mum has taken her pregnancy bar out of her arm (her words) i nearly hypoventilated it is something i want to do so much for her i want to give her a brother or sister i have this dream to surprise her with the news when we get the all clear and i am so worried that her mum will get pregnant and take that away from me i pray this baby is healthy for us and for our family but so much more for DH's daughter.
My boys have each other and DH's daughter's biggest wish is to have one of her own.
It is a hard journey this ttc and even harder when pregnancy announcements are thrown in our face but we need to keep going and do our best that is all we can do and just hope that luck is on our side for once.

Sorry for rambling.

AFM-just plotting along counting the days until i can finally breath a sigh of relief.
I was laying on my belly last night and felt bub it felt like a bunch of worms wriggling around in my belly it was awesome this baby has to be healthy it all seems to good to go wrong.