Saffy - I am so sorry darling. I understand the feeling of letting people down as it's exactly the same way I feel after a loss. But you need to recognise people are let down by the experience, not by you personally. Their hearts are breaking FOR you, not because of you. I wish I had answers for you too but I don't. I know it seems like there is no hope at this point but lots of people have been in the same situation as you now and had success later on. When do you get to meet with your FS?