LT TTC and Assisted Conception Apr-May 2011

**Saffy** · June 2nd, 2011, 11:26 AM

hi everyone,

Teraie-don't feel bad, just come in when you need! We aren't going anywhere unfortunately lol. Acupuncture is very good, it doesn't really hurt. My acupuncturist specialises in fertility/pregnancy. Usually I go during a cycle and have a break between but it is good for stress as well. Give it ago!

Loops- shame you can't go in July, but yay for September- its good to have a goal i agree

Hi everyone else

AFM- well AF never came-boo- just had heaps of cramping but the good news is- I finally can start my cycle, embies arrived today in new clinic so I have started provera for 7 days then I should get an AF

bout bl00dy time! I wish it would have happened naturally but oh well, got to force these old bod's to do what we want I suppose. Can't wait to get into the tww again- god am I sick in the head or what!?!?!

**~TT40~** · June 3rd, 2011, 03:49 AM

Thanks Saffy.
It appears i lost a week.. Im actually day 28 today.. So things dont serm so dire =)

sent via my vortex manipulator

**Loops12** · June 4th, 2011, 04:43 PM

Hi Ladies
Just a quick one as I'm at work - nearly home time though.

Tei ~ thanks hun and FX'd tight for you this cycle!

Saff ~ Hope the Provera brings that nasty AF round quick and then it will be no-time before you're in that TWW!

Thanks again for all your support lovely ladies.

Test this morning showed BFN - whats new hey

**Loops12** · June 6th, 2011, 10:23 AM

Anybody out there....
Hope that means everyone had a great and busy weekend.

Well I'm frustrated - keep looking at all the signs and possible symptoms again. AF has not shown up yet and the last few cycles shes come at around CD30-32 AND I'm now CD34, so basically shes late, my temp has been very high for me in the mornings at around 36.8dC, my BB's are sorer than normal, I have pimples and cramps but I'm getting a headache this morning and thats not a good sign

. I'm too scared to test again, so sick to death of BFNs!!

**tantee** · June 6th, 2011, 10:39 AM

Hi Loops,
I am sorry to see that you are feeling crappy and just wanted to send you a big cyber hug. Also re your previous posts re insensitive family/friends.... you are one of the most optimistic ladies out there in LTTTC land and I admire your tenacity. People just don't realise how hard it is to pick yourself up again and again, month after month for YEARS at a time.
Hang in there hun

Hope all you other lovelies are all OK xxx

**Loops12** · June 6th, 2011, 11:47 AM

Thanks so much Tantee - really appreciate that. Yes you're right, family and friends that havent been through it just dont understand. My dad (the main one that was worried about my so called negativity) has been through a lot, he's lost his daughter, had a bad divorce (from my mum), had to deal with step sons recovering from drug addictions plus more so he does know what pain is and was really only looking out for me but he wouldnt I guess understand this kind of pain - so it is very hard dealing with families in this situation etc. I'm just so appreciative to have great friends on here that I can chat to about the way I'm feeling. Thanks for the warm hugs - hugs back xoxo I'm still hopeful for this cycle - well trying to stay as positive as I can but at the same time don't want to crash again.
Tuff but I do manage to soldier on - sorry for the dribble LOL

I too hope everyone is well ~

for BFPs for us all!

**~TT40~** · June 8th, 2011, 01:01 AM

How is everyone? Better than me i hope.. Im cd 34 no af... Im offically overdue... Im sure it has something to do with all hormones and whatnot from before. im freaking out though cause as of 4/7 im going to be working 1 1/2 hors away for 8 months (2 different places) we dont have a choice we need the money.. But that makes me 3 hours from fs.. Too far to be able to have appointments and still work and be reliable... So my first concern is if af doesnt hurry the frak up ill miss my window... and then if this cycle doesnt work we will have to take a break for the 8 months and in all seriousness that will kill me. I think i will need to go back on meds...and that will mess things up in otherways. *sigh* im only just hanging on atm... End of next week i finish work here and have a break for 2 weeks. 2 weeks with no babies is going to be heaven...and saying that and looking forward to it makes me more sad cause its not who i am...and in terms of my work im becoming someone i dont like...and everything is really making me not want to be a midwife any more...cause it hurts too much and as a result i feel im harming my women cause i just cant give anymore....
I hate who i am becoming.
Sorry to throw everthing out there i didnt mean to it just all sort of came out.

Im giving a drop of love to all you girl its not much but i feel i only have a few drops left.

sent via my vortex manipulator

Addit ~ how do you do it Saffy???

Pps i only asked Saffy cause.she is also a midwife. i guess it is also how does everyone else do it....i feel bad complaining and giving up when all you girls have been doing this for twice as long at least

**Saffy** · June 8th, 2011, 09:42 AM

Teirae-

sorry you are having such a hard time, it is not easy, especially after the first cycle, I was sure my first cycle was going to work and was shattered when it didn't.

It is very frustrating to not have AF arrive on time after a cycle, but it can be normal, I really hope she comes soon, the pressure of timing with cycles is really hard. It will work out hopefully, but talk to your clinic, often you don't really need to see an FS in the flesh so to speak, and some doctors can do phone appts, would that make things easier? I presume you would be doing an FET next time ( sorry I am on advanced and can't remember if you have a frostie), they are much less appts, scans etc than a stim cycle so it still might work out.

As for work, I think you will find after a few weeks off you will miss it! I always do. You are going through a bad time but it won't be like this forever, you are grieving over your loss with the bfn, which is understandable but you will eventually get back on your feet again

For me, I try to look at it as - I don't really know other people's journeys to becoming pregnant, so just because someone is in labour having a baby doesn't mean they haven't been through a tough time as well, and they need my support for this next stage. It can be difficult, but I was a midwife for a long time, long before i was TTC so I guess it makes it easier to seperate myself. I get really upset if a friend or relative gets UTD but funnily enough i don't mind seeing bellies and babies all day at work. I also like cuddling hte babies then coming home and being able to have 8 hours sleep lol. It helps that i work at a private hospital, a lot of our patients are in their late 30s, and have done ivf, so I often tell them I am doing it too ( and get some ivf tips lol), I think they like to talk about it with me cos a lot of people wouldn't understand what they have been through. Stick with it hun, you will be a better midwife in the long run for it, and will have a better empathy and understanding. Give yourself some time to grieve, and I'm sure things will look start looking better soon

**Saffy** · June 8th, 2011, 09:45 AM

hi everyone else, hope all is well.
I am on my last provera tablets, so hoping AF will arrive tomorrow or the next day, I would be on CD 60+ by now, (stopped counting lol), then all systems go for FET inthe next few weeks.

**nothing2lose** · June 8th, 2011, 09:59 AM

Hi guys,
Haven't been on much over the past couple of days. Cut a very long story short I am about to head off for a MRI to see if I have ovarian cancer.
I have posted about it in the Need Prayer pages.
Life feels a bit sucky right now.

Chat soon x

**Loops12** · June 8th, 2011, 10:12 AM

Nothing2lose ~ (((GBH))), lots of

for you. Hope it turns out to be a false alarm hun, FX'd. Will be thinking of you. x

Tei ~

. Must be tough being in that job, but like Saffy said as least you dont have to go home to a baby screaming the house down all night

I know though - I feel sad all the time too and want those things. Hang in there - our time will have to come one day soon. x

Saffy ~ exciting - all the best! x

AFM ~ some of you may have seen in the other threads that AF is late for me, I've done a couple of Lullaby Conceptions tests that have been very faint positives however I did a Clae Blue Digital and that came up as "Not Pregnant"

Last night and today I've had bad headaches and before I had some pink mucous, think AF may be coming. So for about a half a day I was excited - still have to hope I guess given this has been a completely a la naturale cycle and to get a BFP after 5yrs 3 months of TTC I guess is pretty wonderful no matter what the outcome.

**Coral73** · June 8th, 2011, 01:08 PM

Nothing2lose - I am so sorry that you going through this terrible time

. My thoughts are with you and I will also be

'ing for a positive outcome for you at your scan. I hope you have some good support with you and sending you lots of

, xoxo

***beannaithe*** · June 8th, 2011, 06:04 PM

N2L - just wanting to send you giant enormous

. I am hoping with all my might that everything is ok hun.

Loops - everything crossed for you chick that there may be a little natural miracle in the making

A big

to all you lovely girlies out there. I thought it was time I popped my head back in here, going into another cycle. TBH, since our last cycle in February, a lot of crap has been uncovered - DH had a DNA frag test done which came back high, my nice blood-clotty anti nuclear antibodies are still creating havoc, my thyroid isn't that flash and to top it all off, my sister and I have been diagnosed with a very rare bleeding disorder which, among other things, is notorious for causing miscarriages. So quite frankly, we may as well be doing this cycle for a laugh because the chances of it actually being successful are about zip. However, this cycle is like an itch I need to scratch and despite everything, I have this compelling urge to do just one more. This one will be our last though. At the moment, I am on the pill and start jabbing on June 27th with a microdose flare and 300u Puregon

which is a huge dosage for me

Sounds like we all need a great big

, thinking of you N2L and hoping you are ok

**Loops12** · June 8th, 2011, 07:08 PM

Well it definitely looks like a BFN afterall

Thanks everyone for all your support and crossing of fingers for me

x x

**~TT40~** · June 9th, 2011, 06:07 PM

*hugs Loops*

and massive hugs to you N2L. no matter what happens remember we are all here for you.

I'm now Day 1! =D yay! well.. aside from the cramps and yuck feeling...but yay, means we are a go for this cycle. haven't called the FS yet to say I'm day 1.. I'll do it tomorrow.

I had a break down last night, a blubbering mess about everything to DH. One thing was 'where the frak is my period'... and now today I'm *****ing 'I have my fraking period I hate it'... DH just stared blanking at me going...I really can't win here cause first i was complaining i didnt have it, now I'm complaining I do =P

ahh well. I feel in a better frame of mind now. might even feel i have more support for you wonderful women. you are all beautiful people and I would love to meet you all and give you all hugs and babies (

).