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Thread: LT TTC & Assisted Conception - September/October '05

  1. #109

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    Aw Kel, sweetie Im SO very sorry to hear your news. Anmd it just doesnt get any easier does it? The enforced cycle off also makes things very very difficult. Like we dont have to wait enough? Am truly hoping this is the last time we see you post those three horrible letters.


  2. #110

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    Ali - that is great news about your eggs. Nice big take. Be sure to look after yourself. I found OPU to be painful too (in fact probably more so that a lap).

    Everything crossed for a wonderful big bunch of strong fertilised ones. Are they taking them to blast stage?

    Trish - havent been on it for SO many years can hardly remember, but I do think I did occassionally have spotting at unusual times.... :-k

  3. #111

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    Keen
    I haven't taken it myself for 13-14 yrs except for last stim cycle - but I vaguely remember having spotting and (Sorry TMI) - huge clots why I was eager to stop and start TTC.

  4. #112

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    Im sure its probably because your body just so isnt used to it.... You havent been having big clots this time have you? Any cramping along with the spotting?

  5. #113

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    Keen
    No clots thank goodness :-s - I had slight cramping - nothing to complain about though - I was just aware of it . I had on/off spotting last stim cycle but I don't remember it so early last time. Will see what happens today and will ring clinic if need be.

    How are you feeling today ?

    Where is everybody - hope you have a nice rest of the week (short for some)

  6. #114
    amandaw Guest

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    Hi all

    Hope you're all well - have been off line for the last week or so - after our latest failed attempt I took some time off to go and visit my Mum and sister - they always make me feel better.

    Found out that friends of ours who have been TTC for about 6 months are pregnant...they just found out that the hubby has low sperm and thought it was all bad but then found a BFP the next day...part of me is really happy for them but the other part is frustrated that they can conceive so easily (they thought it had taken a long time...aargghh) with low sperm and yet we have nothing wrong ("unexplained infertility") and can't sort it out...she also wants me to share the joy of her pregnancy with her (and I am really happy for them) but how can I make her understand that, emotionally, I'm not equipped to handle her journey when I'm heartbroken that it's not me...

    Does that make any sense at all? Am I just being a selfish cow?

  7. #115

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    Kell,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your result. I can fully understand how frustrating the whole process is.

    I always thought that if I knew that, say, by my 10th cycle, I would definitely be pg, it would have been easier for me to carry on. I would know from the outset how much money it would cost, how much time would be involved, how much emotion I had to invest, and most importantly, that all that work and pain and stress would actually lead to the achievement of my dream to have a baby.

    I likened it to studying for exams. I always felt like I was the one studying every night, not going out with my mates, and it was the ones who didn't study, who partied all the time, who seemed to pass the exmans without trying. I wanted a result for all the heartache I was going through. It's not fair that you don't get a reward for your hardship.

    And that's what is so unfair about this rollercoaster, is that there's no guarantee of a BFP at the end. That's the cruelest thing about it.

    And that's why it takes a strong woman to bear with it. It's a difficult, unfair, heartache-fraught journey, and all you ladies should be applauded for still staying strong and positive and able to move forward.

    But it's also okay to be upset and unhappy and angry. This means so much to all of us, and we would surely be inhuman not to be upset when we are not 'rewarded'...yet.

    love
    sushee

  8. #116

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    =D> Sushee, you've drawn the perfect parallel there. Likening this journey to studying hard and not getting the results while others cruise along and always seem to achieve the reward. Particularly in light of Amanda's post. And, unless people have been through it, although they try, they really can never understand properly. That's why we have each other.
    Amanda, it all makes complete sense. And, no, you're not a selfish cow. You're not a selfish anything. :smt018 Your feelings are yours and you're entitled to be unhappy atm. Does your friend know about you TTC for so long and the problems you're having? If so, then I would tell her exactly what you posted about not being in the right place emotionally atm to share the joy. If she doesn't know, then, you might just have to explain. If she's a good friend, she'll understand.
    Hi to everyone else.
    Love
    Sue

  9. #117
    amandaw Guest

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    Thanks Sue...yep, she knows...I've been giving her a shoulder to cry on while she's been bemoaning the length of time it's taken them to get pregnant (I was very good at resisting the urge to tell her that getting worked up when it hadn't even been six months was bloody ridiculous)...so she's aware of how long it's been and of every disappointment...I guess she just doesn't understand how her luck could be a further disappointment...

  10. #118

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    That is a perfect analogy Sush, I will use that in the future. Feel better today, trying to shift focus. Or was.

    My SIL called me this morning. She miscarried their first angel a year ago this week - she called today in tears saying "I'm pregnant and bleeding again" - she is 7 weeks and they hadn't told anyone because of what happened this time last year when she was 10 weeks. Life is so cruel and awful. She has a scan this afternoon and I am hoping like hell that she and my baby brother see a heartbeat. I swear, if I can make it so I didnt get my BFP this month so she can hang onto her baby, and I'll do the bleeding with AF for us both I would. And I swear I wont complain about my BFN for this month again as a result. Surely it cant be this cruel to be the same week and all for them?

    She has been trying since a year ago to fall again with no luck til this, she has severe endo. and I guess this could be why? I just desperately do not want this to happen to them again. Its not fair. I really am not handling this weel today, after my own news yesterday

  11. #119

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    Oh Kelly that is very sad news i cried all the way through your post. It is hard enough to cope with disapointment month after month but to finally get a result after a m/c and then another year of trying and now this must be devestating!

    She must really love and trust in you to call and tell you and know that she can share her pain.

    I will be [-o< for a good result from her scan this afternoon.


    Take Care Of Each Other


    Racheal

  12. #120

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    Sometimes it all seems so HARD! And never Fair! on the roller coaster ride.

    And love the analogy Sushee. Seems to just say it all, explaining it in a non-emotional sense like that would probably make it easier to explain to other people.

    I had my BT & scan today, waiting for BT results but my scan showed lining as only 7mm so had a Primogyn shot & will have another tomorrow. At least it seems to be found that it's my hormone levels that are stuffed up. Makes me feel better for why we haven't been successful yet!
    Next important date will be BT & scan 7/10

    Take care

  13. #121

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    Baby is ok. I cant stop crying with relief. I havent fully dealt with my own news from yesterday so this was so hard today. She has a cyst thats causing pain and spotting but baby is going well, growing and with a strong heartbeat. I am crying with such relief, after I bargained with the gods that I would do the bleeding for us, I started my period half an hour later and shes ok. God, I am now so emotional all over again. Such bad timing in so many ways but thank god its all ok.

  14. #122

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    Kell

    That is such fantastic news for your DB and SIL. [-o< for a safe and healthy pregnancy for them. Someone must be listening to you for you to get AF then hey. Good luck this month.

  15. #123

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    Kelly what great news!! Now take care of yourself!

  16. #124

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    Kelly, what an amazing day for you, I think you deserve to sit back & do something nice for yourself, or let someone else.

    Take care

  17. #125

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    A bottle of wine is chilling as we speak, I deserve it after the last 2 days!

  18. #126

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    Enjoy every last drop!!

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