N2L, from the bottom of me heart, thank you for this thread. This is where I belong and I hope to be free to talk about my issues with secondary infertility without feeling guilty because I already have one healthy child earth side.

As far as how I am coping with the SI (secondary infertility) I don't think I am coping at all. I have been so depressed with it all, its debilitating. Because I had no trouble falling pg to start off with, having fallen pg on the very first cycle with my firstborn son (even though that ended with a late term miscarriage) and then fallen pg with my second son on the second cycle, I am now finding it very difficult falling pg again. I am so scared of not being able to give DS a sibling, it's pretty much all I can think about these days, and it hurts like hell. It's also affecting my relationship with my DP as I often feel angry with him that I wanted to try earlier and he didn't want to, and that I could have done more cycles but he didn't want to, as he was always putting the breaks on saying that it would be easy for us to fall pg again, like it did in the beginning. Well it's not easy now, I am now 43 and I feel like I have run out of time. I was shocked to hear from my DP, for the first time just after our second FET failed just before Christmas, that it was OK if we kept going until I've had enough. Why couldn't he be that supportive earlier on? Although I am happy with his new attitude, I feel that we've lost too much time, maybe it's just too late.