Hi Sushee,

how could I NOT drop a line on this thread after you asked me. I actually felt really chuffed that you thought it a good idea, hopefully giving inspiration to others in (what was) our boat !

Here is my story ..................................

In 1997 I was blessed with a baby boy (natrually) with then partner, after not trying for long at all. All my family had emmigrated to Adelaide 7 years before, while I married and settled in the North of England (then 27 yrs old).

Unfortunately partner and I seperated in June 1998 and I proceeded to go back and forth with DS too and from UK for about 3 years. In between living with friends and making my way as a single mum.

February 2000, I met my now ROCK and DH (I was then 30). Meeting through mutial friends we moved in together 6 months later. He had previously been married before too, but with NO kids.

January 2001 to my surprise I took a HPT and found it to be positive. Although a bit of a shock, we both were delighted and not for one moment, did I think anything would / could go wrong !!!
Two weeks or so after the test I started to bleed and Dr sent me for a scan, NO sac was found. But after taking Hcg blood test they were found to be going slowly up. Consultant soon confirmed it was a an ectopic pregnancy, probably between 6 - 9 weeks. I was kept in hospital and had my left tube removed !!

Two weeks to the day ....................... on going to bed I suddenly awoke with 2 paramedics in my room !!! I had suffered a major seizure (poor DH thought I was having a heart attack). Only to have further test and told I had Epilepsy. The ectopic had bought it to the fore-front (as it has been lying dormant since my teens and the stress triggered it).

We moved on and proceeded to keep trying, I seemed to fall pregnant every 6 months or so. Unfortaunately each time they ended in M/C (usually between 6-7 weeks). I remember each time I would go to the EPU praying for them to find a heartbeat .........................it never happend. Between 2001 and 2004 (just before we emmigrated to Adelaide too) I had 5 M/C !!!

We settled well over here and started to try again .................... took another HPT in June 2005 ............. positive. We thought all our Christmas's had come at once. Start of a new life downunder and a new baby.
By that time we had already joined a fertility clinic (who had been doing test's on previous m/c). They then confirmed I was peri-menopausal (hence low, poor quality remaining eggs, I was 35). I went in for a routine scan, consultant seemed very quiet and confirmed my abdomen was full of blood. I had had another ectopic, but this one was very serious. The right remaining tube had ruptured, I was bleeding internally and rushed straight to hospital. Hcg count was found to be 26,000, I was probably between 9-13 weeks !!! Hence remaining tube had now gone.

Our only option was IVF ....................... so the journey began !!!!

To cut a long story short we did 3 cycles of icsi, back to back in 2006.
1st: 5 eggs, 2 embies BFN
2nd: 3 eggs, 2 embies BFN
3rd: 1 egg ................. cancelled the cycle.

January 2007 DH and I had a long hard talk about whether or not to keep riding this "rollercoaster". I decided I could put myself through it ONE more time, I wanted nothing more for DH to become a Daddy.

March that year I started my 4th cycle (icsi) and used another injection along with all the other meds. Luveris ............. which I believed helped my poor quality eggs (it boost the eggs during a critical time of harvesting).

Each previous cycle had ended with AF arriving the day before the blood test. This time I was determined to be MORE focussed ......................... I was so much more positive in my self and would take 20 mins a day to focus on my 2 embies that had been put back in April (that cycle I produced 6 eggs).

The night before I was due to test, I had not bled and I knew in my gut-feeling that this time it had worked.
DH and I went for the test at the clinic and waited in the city for the call. IT CAME ............................... "Sarah, you've finally done it" said the nurse, Hcg was 284.

That was May this year .................................. My long awaited baby girl Angel is due this Monday !!!
I still pinch myself now, when I feel my bubs moving inside me. She truely is an angel sent by God. I feel so blessed and just want others out there to know that IT CAN HAPPEN !!!!!!

I will never, ever forget my other little bubs that never made it too this world. They will be in my heart always and I know when this baby is born I shall be VERY emotional, knowing my journey has finally come to an END. I will never forget the feeling of laying on the bed waiting to see/hear her heartbeat ............. many times before I had been let down, SHE truely is a fighter.

Stay strong ladies and gentlmen (yep, the partners are often over looked). There is a GOD .......................... he will guide your heart if you stay focused.

Much love and luck to you all

Reags Xx