kaybee - like many of the other ladies have said, come into BB and vent, rant, share and read about others' experiences, to deal as well as you can with your own experiences.

I found it terribly hard with friends getting pregnant left right and centre around me when we were TTC in secret ... we even had one interstate friend ask if she could stay with us for a week, and it turned out she was in Melbourne to have an abortion, of a pg which had been planned, but she'd changed her mid about ...

And then one of my best friends got pg accidentally (the baby was very welcome - just a surprise!!) and we told her and her DH we had been TTC for a while, so they could be sensitive to us, while our journeys were in such different places ... unfortunately, her idea of being a good and sensitive friend to me was to call me up and at great length explain all the ups and downs of her pregnancy journey, so I could "share" it with her, even if I wasn't able to be experiencing it myself at that time ...

I know she was trying to help, but the twice+ weekly 45 minute phonecalls were too much for me, and I started not answering her calls, or working back late to avoid them ...

And she would call me frequently for advice about different pregnancy things (I'm a major reader and researcher, so if she wasn't sure about whether baths or lavender oil or loud music was ok for the baby, she'd call and ask me) so that I would feel good about helping her baby, etc ...

Again, she really was trying to do the best thing by me, but it was just eating me up inside, and was so difficult! It was so hard not to become resentful or jealous or bitter ... I was glad that all these people around me were pregnant and happy but I so very much wanted to be, too!

But as for my two cents of advice ... I don't know what your beliefs are, but I found it really helpful to pray together with my DH and ask God to help me ... He says for us to bring all our burdens to Him, because he loves us, and I certainly brought all of mine! With buckets full of runny nosed tears, and a lot of frustration and questions ...

Otherwise, all I can suggest is that if you're public about your TTC conceive journey, I'd just say to your loved ones, "I'm so happy for you, but please understand that it's hard for me to hear the details." or something like that, pointing out that you're really glad for them, but that sharing the experience might be too painful at the moment.

I know that now that I have been able to have a baby, I feel a little on eggshells around friends who are LTTTC or have suffered loss. But the ones I'm closest to, I've chosen a good time (ie: in private, and not when there are babies around) and I've just asked them how best I can be sensitive ... and I've had really different responses, which I try to abide by.

And if you're keeping it under wraps at the moment, it's a lot harder, because there's no polite way of saying that you're not wanting to listen to them talk about their pg or their baby, without letting them know why ... but please come on over to BB and let it out, rather than bottling it up inside.

Good luck