Hi everyone,

This is another mega vent, I seem to be on a role lately. Two days after AF arrived after my stim cycle in Jan, DH told me that my SIL (his sister) was 10 weeks pregnant, after falling the first month trying (they were married in October). While trying to be happy for them, I had a bit of a break down, all the usual things like 'its not fair', 'how could they be so lucky as to fall the first month trying when we have been trying for 4 years' etc etc. I took it really bad. But have been trying to put it from my mind. SIL lives in Canberra, she is lovely really, and I am trying trying to be happy for them and not jealous.

She had a 14 week scan today. She is having triplets! Oh God, WTF. I am in total shock, it is like 100 times worse. It seems she O'd 3 eggs, all fertilised, all implanted, all growing, all ok, first month trying. I feel gutted for DH and me. We can't even have one baby, she is having 3.

I am a bit of a mess at the moment, so jealous, so sad for us, I know I shouldn't take this like a kick in the guts, but what can I do? I know that it really has nothing to do with me, but I feel like God has slapped me in the yet again.

I so need some advice as to how to handle this. I just want my chance, I just want it to be my turn, and with this so in my face, I don't know what to think or how to feel. I will have to call them, and my MIL/FIL to say congratulations, how do I be happy and sincere without breaking down? And I can't vent to DH as he is trying to be happy for his sister, and just doesn't feel the same way.

Where is the justice, where is the fairness? I am already dreading the whole jokes of 'well you can have one of ours'.

How much longer, how do I cope and how do I have hope for us?

Any advice would be a life saviour.