OMG I really don't know what say

If it helps, I know that if I were in that situation, I honestly wouldn't care what she thought - I would need time to get my head around it, and come to terms with the unfairness of the situation before I could even think of congratulating/seeing her. I think if you try and push yourself to do something you're not comfortable with yet, you're going to keep the wound raw for longer. Does his family know your TTC?? If so, maybe you're DH could just pass on your congratulations, but mention that its hit you pretty hard, so you'll be laying low for a little while?

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you're doing it for YOU and not for family pressures. At the end of the day, you and DH are the ones who have to live with your decisions, not anyone else