It has been quite interesting for me to read this discussion!

We are currently ttc #1 - and even before we started trying DH always said that he wanted to be the one who stays home with the kids. There are quite a number of reasons for us to want to do this, and I'm really hoping it works!

First of all - financially - I earn a higher wage than he does. For our first two years of marriage neither of us worked, we spent some time studying and then moved so that I could take up my first teaching position. For the next two years we had only my wage. Things were tight, but we managed.

Secondly - and this is almost embarrassing, but DH is a much better cook than me, and is overall far more domesticated! When he is on holidays, we eat better, and the house is cleaner than it is at any other stage, including when I have my long break over summer. DH is also more patient and much calmer than I ever am

Thirdly - because I'm a teacher, I get far more time at home than he does. I work quite close to home, so usually leave home at 8am and I arrive back home at 4pm. DH leaves home shortly after 7am, and we are lucky to have him back by 6pm some days. Apart from the school breaks where I still have a bit of work to do, but am at home - we feel that we will get much more time together as a family this way.

And finally - DH has a number of projects that he is working on at home that will earn us a little extra money. He gets quite frustrated that he doesn't get time to work on them now, and even though caring for a child will take up a lot of time, he will have more time to work on those then than he does now.

I've grown up with an uncle (now deceased) who stayed home with his children whie my aunt worked - we didn't have a lot of contact, but they grew up to be two very lovely girls, and I never thought anything was odd about the situation - it's just what they did.

Of course, at the moment I am working in a school where I am not really enjoying things, and I often think that taking a break from teaching to look after my own family would be quite appealing - and while I would take some time off, the fact is that I would desperately miss the contact with my colleagues and my students - I go very slowly but completely nuts each time I am on holidays.

Obviously there are a few issues such as breast feeding, but I have so many different medications for different health problems that I will need to stop while pregnant, they actually reccomend that I do not breast feed for very long so that I can resume my medications as quickly as possible.

I do realise that this is very unusual, and sincerely hope that when the time comes DH can make contact with some other men in the same position.

BW