Ah yes denial and choosing daycare. That sounds familiar
I was convinced I'd be able to finish off my thesis with DS2 around. After a while I realised it just wasn't going to work. I'd seen a lady at my son's school who worked as a family day carer and she seemed nice and carted the kids around in a box on the front of her bicycle covered in flowers with 'happy days' painted on the side. So I asked her if she could watch DS2 for a few hours here and there and we just went from there. She seemed capable, down-to-earth, and fun and I didn't put any more thought into it because I believed it would really only be a few hours here and there. It's now turned into a more regular and much longer term arrangement than I'd planned but it's working out ok.
Now I've got to choose a daycare for him on the other side of the world and have no idea how I'm going to do it.
My general take on choosing a daycare (mostly for DS1) has been to find a few with space and then go for visits. They were always either lovely or definitely no good for us (one place was a pristine room with delicate glass things around and the children boxed into one corner where all the toys got packed away each hour).

Good luck!