Some advice from the ladies?

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Hi Daryx.

I was adamant that I did not want an episiotomy - my DH agreed to my having one without anyone asking my consent or even informing me what was going on to MY body. I am STILL upset about this. It STILL hurts, almost nine months on. And guess what? I'm more likely to tear or need a cut next time. Thanks! (Yup, really bitter!)

Promise your girlfriend that you will under no circumstance agree to her having an episiotomy, it has to be her decision. Stick to this promise. That would have made a world of difference to me.

[Lulu]

You are taking on some of the pain and fear for her merely by coming in here to find some further advice and understanding.
I think it's a good thing that you open up about why you are silent. It's much better than just being silent iykwim?

Being a birth partner, and making her feel safe that you will do the best for her you can ..........and plenty of hugs and chocolate!