Righto last night I had the most weirdest dream which has left me this morning feeling sick and uneasy, for what reason I don't know. I have never felt this way before after having a dream and I am prone to have quite vivid ones.
Perhaps someone can help me and interpret it for me?
A bit of background info first. I have been married to DH for 11 years, and with him for 13. Love him to death, in my mind there is no other. BUT prior to him there was another gentleman, lets call him A, who I had an ongoing flirtation with. We had been good friends since highschool and there was always serious chemistry between us but it was never the right time - one of us was always dating someone else or overseas.
When I met DH it got pretty intense pretty quickly and we became engaged after a year. "A" found out we were engaged and I saw him soon after at a nightclub. He was drinking quickly and heavily and all night kept coming over to me. DH knew him but did't know the extent of our history together. At one point I was in one area talking to some friends when "A" came over, almost crying. His friends are trying to hold him back as he tells me not to marry DH marry him instead. He proceeds to get down on his knees in the middle of the club and ask me, all very dramatic. His friends pull him up and away and I was very upset at the time - why did he wait till then? DH never knew about this.
Fast forward to now. Over the years we have remained friends and shared some great experiences. There have been some uncomfortable times and some lovely ones - he was the first one the hospital after DD1 was born! (Happened to be in the area and was so excited). He is now engaged to be married and the wedding is this weekend to which we are invited.
Well PHEW if you managed to get through all of that!!! Now to last night's dream...
I dream't I was invited to "A's" bucks night and was the only girl there. People in my dream were telling me that I had been invited to keep an eye on him and make sure he was ok. The dream went through a lot of typical bucks night scenario's, drinks out, back to his parent's house (where I was made to feel very welcome, like one of the family) for a traditional European celebration...in the dream there was lots of raucous behaviour at his parent's house. I was being pulled into the behaviour, drinking, laughing etc all the time helping "A" and physically touching him eg holding him, cuddling him etc. The dream ended with him at the church and me being the bride instead of his fiancee.
So what is this telling me? That we still have unfinished business? I am so confused and upset by this.
mmmm interesting dream(s).... you do understand first loves never die even if your happily married ....
You may need to have a heart to heart with him maybe you have been bottling stuff within and now you know he is getting married something or him himself is trying to communicate with you . You could be subconscially scared of losing him to the wife to be who knows BUT i do know as i have been there and first loves never die ....
Maybe just a what if scenario your subconscious has come up with that doesn't actually mean anything. You are happy with your DH. He has clearly moved on. His news may have sparked some memories in your subconscious that put you in her place. I don't think it necessarily means there is unfinished business. Or maybe it's a warning that you do still have feelings for him or vice versa so you may want to watch yourself around him if you want to keep your marriage. Only you can answer that.
I think it is very common to have dreams of a past love and that the dreams always make you start thinking what if. I have had a few and I wake up with a feeling like I need to do something about it but really I know it is just a dream. I would not do anything about it personally. Give your mind some time to settle. Your friend is about to get married and I don't think it would be fair to be talking to him about it. Whatever feelings your are having are heavily influenced by a dream and that is all it was, a dream. Would you be feeling like you need to teel him anything if you did not have the dream?
No I don't feel the need to tell him anything, I am really quite content and happy and I think that is why this dream has unsettled/unnerved me.
I know in the past (as in years and years ago) when things were still a bit awkward between us I did at times think "what if", but it wasn't because I was unhappy more because I was curious if that makes sense?
Thanks for your answers and input ladies. I think I will just put it down to being "just a dream' and look no further into it!
I have had several dreams similar to this...each time I was pregnant and I guess feeling more vulnerable with my DH....I would have very vivid and strongs dreams that involved my first boyfriend, I was totally in love with him, he was hot looking and at times could be really thoughtful, at other times we fought really badly (we were about 18 when we got together) I ended up finishing the relationship 6 years after it started as I just knew he really didn't have the same future plans as what I did. So I guess it was one of those break ups where I still loved him, but I just knew he wasn't right for me.
So it made me wonder why I would dream of him when things weren't at there best with my relationship with my DH, we have been together 10 years now. And I have decided its just that there will always be a part of me that loved the time I had with him and my dreams take me back there. I hope that makes sense.
Oh and I have never told my DH about those dreams, I thought that would just hurt him. No harm done if anything made me address things with my DH
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The one that got away...
Enjoy the wedding.
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